Give thanks - it is Christmas again

Christmas trees seen everywhere. This photo is one taken in Shenzhen, China. It is the time of the year where the festive mood is in the air.


As the year draws to a close, I reflect on the journey this year. It has been an incredible one, with much gratitude I have come through. Thank God for His many blessings, peace and joy. Thanks to all who have walked with me, helped and prayed for me. I really appreciate your support.


The church I worship in has placed the Miracle Service every Saturday on live broadcast, 7pm Singapore/China time (GMT+8). It is available at:
www.lighthouse.org.sg/tv.html


The pastor had received divine healing from an incurable disease. He has started this healing ministries many years back. 


May you also received blessing from the Almighty. May many hearts be touched, body and soul healed. 


Wishing everyone a blessed Christmas. And a new year filled with hope, faith and joy. 

Latest and greatest 进展

Have reviewed with the colorectal doctor mid Oct.  He told me it just took time to get normal with the bowel habit. The overall recovery was good.

I have since traveled a bit for work. It was good to get back to the routine, the adjustment had been fairly smooth.

Reviewed with the oncologist Prof K yesterday. He said the blood test showed that the tumor marker CEA was at 0.8. This was very good result. The condition has been very stable. Liver function indicators were all within normal range. Prof K was very glad to put me to routine monitoring.

Between the 2 doctors, they would see me every 3 months alternatively from now on. Monitoring would be done through the blood test. We cannot thank God enough for His healing promise, everlasting love and unfailing compassion . Thanks all who pray for us. Thanks to my friends, colleagues, church and families for their kind support throughout this period. May God Bless you with peace and health abundantly.

I wrote this as a token of appreciation to the kind oncologist Prof K.  送给宅心仁厚的K教授，感谢他的尽心尽力的医治与帮助

诗篇 131:2  我的心平稳安静，好像断过奶的孩子在他母亲的怀中；我的心在我里面真像断过奶的孩子。 
3  以色列啊，你当仰望耶和华，从今时直到永远！

Psa131： 2 Surely I have behaved and quieted myself, as a child that is weaned of his mother: my soul is even as a weaned child.
3 Let Israel hope in the Lord from henceforth and for ever.

Post op 手术后

It has been a month post op. The wound is now completely healed. The assistant surgeon was very certain that there would be infection, due to the pre-existing condition. We prayed otherwise. Indeed we are very thankful that the wound has healed without incidence.

It has been quite a different story adapting to the ileostomy though. The colon, having rested for 11 months, has taken longer time to adjust. Past few weeks has been tough, with need to rush to wash room regularly. This was accompanied by severe abdominal pain. Some time it was up to half a day in the rest room, the pain was so unbearable that  at times I have to resort to painkiller.

Visited the doc yesterday, a new doctor since the surgeon has moved on. He explained about the bacteria at work  after the large intestine just gotten back to function again, and prescribed some medication to reduce bowel irritation. This situation has kept me at home pretty much. Pray and looking forwards to improvement soon.  Pressing on.

James1：2  Let it be all joy to you, my brothers, when you undergo tests of every sort;
雅各书1：2  我的弟兄们，你们落在百般试炼中，都要以为大喜乐； 

Op 3 第三个手术

Admitted into hospital last Wed Jul 10 to prepare for my final op. 


The op was originally scheduled to be on Jul 11. On checking the condition of the colon, the doctor found that the lumen where the suture happened during Op 1 has constricted. So the surgeon had to dilate it. It was done using a procedure similar to colonoscopy. The procedure was carried out on Thur and the op had to be postponed pending x-ray results.


Early Fri the x-ray photos were taken, to ensure the suture was intact. Thankfully the results were good. Was pushed to the operating theatre around 10am. The operating theatre was cold as usual. It was bustling with activities to get ready for the op. I was placed on the operating bed under those operating LED lights. General anaesthetic was performed and I was unconscious in no time. By the time I awoke, it was more than 2.5 hours later. I felt pain on the abdomen where the ileostomy was performed. I was back to the ward soon after. Between short span of awakened stages, I was sleeping most of the time due to the effect of the anesthetic. That night seemed to be particular long as I tried to sleep through after the effect wore off somewhat. 


The doctors came by a few times to check over the next few days. The first sign of success was the passing of gas, to which the assistant surgeon was relieved. This happened 2 days later. Then another vital indicator was ability to pass motion. This finally happened during day 3. Never would I imagine passing motion was so important. By then, I was quite eager to return home, I pleaded with the surgeon to discharge me. So another doctor from the team was sent in to check on me on Monday evening. He agreed that I could go home. It was such a relief after spending 5 nights there. 


What was memorable during the hospital stay was the service level of the all the hospital staff. All the doctors, and especially the nurses were superb, they showed high level of professionalism. On top of that, there were very personal care and genuine concerns for the welfare of the patients. They touched my heart with their dedication.


Thank God for a successful op. With this, all the medical procedures are completed.

John 3 

¹² I have spoken to you of earthly things and you do not believe; how then will you believe if I speak of heavenly things?

約 翰 福 音 3

 ¹² 我 对 你 们 说 地 上 的 事 ， 你 们 尚 且 不 信 ， 若 说 天 上 的 事 ， 如 何 能 信 呢 ？

Next Op 下一个手术

The X-ray was brought forward to Jul 27 as someone had cancelled appointment. Proceeded to the hospital after fasting. The procedure was called water soluble test. Essentially filling the colon with some fluid, so the x-ray would capture whether the suture was good, to see if there is any leak with the colon.

Doctor's verdict was no issue.

Visited the surgeon, Prof E, yesterday. He said I was on the cured stage, and mentioned that I was a fighter. Some people would have given up, he said. I was not sure about that, but certain that God fought the battle for me. Prof fixed the surgery to be on Aug 11.

Psalm24:8
Who is this King of glory? The LORD strong and mighty, the LORD mighty in battle.

詩 篇 24:8

⁸ 荣 耀 的 王 是 谁 呢 ？ 就 是 有 力 有 能 的 耶 和 华 ， 在 战 场 上 有 能 的 耶 和 华 ！

and the doctors said.....医生如是说。。。。。

Reviewed with the colorectal surgeon, Prof E on Monday. He was back from a long vacation and looked very much refreshed. After examination, he arranged for a X-ray to be done on Aug 4. If the joint in the colon heals well, he would then proceed with the operation.

After going through the reports, he mentioned it wais rare to see such a good progress, given the conditions that I had. He was very happy for me. I could not help but gave thanks to God, so has been seeing through the healing and remains ever so faithful.

This morning I saw the oncologist, Dr K. As usual, he examined me- and said all was well. He asked when the operation would be done. The tumor marker was very low, and thus did not warrant a scan. He would see me again on Nov 1, thereafter every half yearly. This is indeed fantastic news!!

Psa 41:2  the LORD protects him and keeps him alive; he is called blessed in the land; 
Psa 41:2  耶和华必保全他，使他存活；他必在地上享福


Lam 3:24  Deep in my heart I say, "The LORD is all I need; I can depend on him!" 
Lam 3:24  我心里说：耶和华是我的分，因此，我要仰望他。

God is faithful 信实的上帝

(1)

When I was diagnosed with cancer, there was quite a shock to my family. I have been healthy all this while, so it was like a thunderbolt out of blue clear sky.
Among others, my mother-in-law begun to pray. She said if I recover, she would start believing God. Surely she did keep to her promise, we accompanied her to church last Sunday.
May God strengthens her faith, and keep her.

(2)

Went for review with the liver surgeon last Tuesday. Prof O was as gentle and kind as ever. It was no wonder that he topped the list the outstanding medical professional, gathered from patients' feedback for the hospital's honour list.   After looking through all the reports, he announced that the liver has returned to normal, with all the indicators showing good reading from the blood test.
He mentioned that there would be no need to see again. Praise God, for His wonderful faithfulness and amazing grace!

Lamentation3

 ²² Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed,
   for his compassions never fail.
²³ They are new every morning;
   great is your faithfulness.
²⁴ I say to myself, “The LORD is my portion;
   therefore I will wait for him.”
 ²⁵ The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him,
   to the one who seeks him;
²⁶ it is good to wait quietly
   for the salvation of the LORD.

耶 利 米 哀 歌 3 

²² 我 们 不 致 消 灭 ， 是 出 於 耶 和 华 诸 般 的 慈 爱 ； 是 因 他 的 怜 悯 不 致 断 绝 。
 ²³ 每 早 晨 ， 这 都 是 新 的 ； 你 的 诚 实 极 其 广 大 ！
 ²⁴ 我 心 里 说 ： 耶 和 华 是 我 的 分 ， 因 此 ， 我 要 仰 望 他 。
 ²⁵ 凡 等 候 耶 和 华 ， 心 里 寻 求 他 的 ， 耶 和 华 必 施 恩 给 他 。
 ²⁶ 人 仰 望 耶 和 华 ， 静 默 等 候 他 的 救 恩 ， 这 原 是 好 的 。

Staying positive 保持乐观

I went to see the TCM physician again on Tuesday morning.

As usual, there were altogether 3 physicians attending to the tumor patients at the hospital. At the waiting area, all the patients started talking and sharing their experiences. Most of them were at their 60s. Amazingly, almost all of them have very positive attitude towards the disease, accepting the fact, taking it in their strides, never wallowed in self-pity, not complaining.......but just freely their experiences in fighting the cancer, talking about chemo, hair loss, going bald.....There was a lady who had a relapse, however, she remained cheerful and was encouraging another new patient to stay positive and take things easy, what amazing spirit!!

For a cancer patient, probably one of the biggest challenges is to maintain a positive spirit throughout the treatment and post treatment period. As this is usually a long battle, it requires a lot of strength to keep going. I have been  very blessed to be able to draw strength from the Almighty One, with many people supporting me in prayer and other positive actions. Mum, my siblings and some friends have always encouraged me to stay optimistic and take things easy. They are right, mental and spiritual well-being are vital in the fight. So, I seldom looked at the negative aspects and choose to focus on getting better. I figured that I could not get things any better by worrying. But rather trusting God in his all wise and well-meaning plan for me. This has certainly help me to get through the tough time......and counting each day as a blessing.

Proverbs 3

 ¹ My son, do not forget my teaching,but keep my commands in your heart, 

² for they will prolong your life many years
   and bring you peace and prosperity. ³ Let love and faithfulness never leave you;
   bind them around your neck,
   write them on the tablet of your heart.
⁴ Then you will win favor and a good name
   in the sight of God and man.
 ⁵ Trust in the LORD with all your heart
   and lean not on your own understanding;
⁶ in all your ways submit to him,
   and he will make your paths straight

箴 言 3

 ¹ 我 儿 ， 不 要 忘 记 我 的 法 则 （ 或 译 ： 指 教 ） ； 你 心 要 谨 守 我 的 诫 命 ；
 ² 因 为 他 必 将 长 久 的 日 子 ， 生 命 的 年 数 与 平 安 ， 加 给 你 。
 ³ 不 可 使 慈 爱 、 诚 实 离 开 你 ， 要 系 在 你 颈 项 上 ， 刻 在 你 心 版 上 。
 ⁴ 这 样 ， 你 必 在 　 神 和 世 人 眼 前 蒙 恩 宠 ， 有 聪 明 。
 ⁵ 你 要 专 心 仰 赖 耶 和 华 ， 不 可 倚 靠 自 己 的 聪 明 ，
 ⁶ 在 你 一 切 所 行 的 事 上 都 要 认 定 他 ， 他 必 指 引 你 的 路 。

Give thanks 感恩

This was the last dose of oral medication for the final chemotherapy. As the drugs are toxic, the pharmacist had reminded not to handle with hand, but through the plastic cup provided. In case of accidental contact, the hand must be washed thoroughly.
这是最后一剂的化疗口服药。由于毒性强，药剂师再三提醒要用塑胶杯子把药倒进口中，不可用手。不小心弄到的话，要马上彻底把手洗干净。

This is a typical billing for one session of chemo. It does not come cheap. Thankfully the insurance we bought cover the bill. So, it is important to get sufficient coverage in this age of high medical care cost.......
这是每个化疗的账单，价格不菲。感恩的是几年前买的保单可报销。所以在医疗费用高昂的现况下，有足够的保险是非常重要的。。。。

Psalm 136

 ¹ Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good.
            His love endures forever.
² Give thanks to the God of gods.
            His love endures forever.
³ Give thanks to the Lord of lords:
            His love endures forever.
 ⁴ to him who alone does great wonders,
            His love endures forever. 

詩 篇 136

 ¹ 你 们 要 称 谢 耶 和 华 ， 因 他 本 为 善 ； 他 的 慈 爱 永 远 长 存 。
 ² 你 们 要 称 谢 万 　 神 之 神 ， 因 他 的 慈 爱 永 远 长 存 。
 ³ 你 们 要 称 谢 万 主 之 主 ， 因 他 的 慈 爱 永 远 长 存 。
 ⁴ 称 谢 那 独 行 大 奇 事 的 ， 因 他 的 慈 爱 永 远 长 存 

Time to look forwards 往前看

(1)
Completing the oral prescription of final round of chemotherapy tomorrow. What a relief. What a blessing.


At this point, trying to summarize the typical side-effects I experienced during the course of chemotherapy:
Dizziness-  starts from day 1, especially when changing from sitting to standing, laying down and standing.
Lethargy - overall tiredness kicks in typical on day 3, would last up to 1 week. Sleep a lot during this period.
Month ulcers - where the soft tissue is under attack. Happens during week 1
Taste buds change - 1st week after chemo, loss of appetite, this wears off after week 1, appetite picks up again
Sole of foot feeling painful - 2nd week after chemo
Numbness on arm and fingers - starts after chemo, lasts up to 1-2 weeks, tingling effects when consuming cold drink/food and the room temperature drops, like under air-con
Nose bleed - happens week 1, couple of times
Diarrhea - happens in week 1
Dryness in month and throat - especially at night
Vomiting - happened once though it is one of the common side-effect among the patients


Week 1 is the difficult period, getting over it is a great relief. I feel almost “invincible” again each time.


Then there are cumulative side-effects after few rounds of chemo:
Hair loss - during first 3 rounds, this stopped after change of some drugs to oral medication
Skin peel-off - especially on the sole of both feet
Skin color change - darkened skin especially on fingers and toes; finger print getting lighter
Pain on the wounds - the drugs caused pus to form on the wounds


As there are many possible combinations of drug that could be used, different patients could react differently, even to the same drugs. I am thankful that the doctors and nurses said I have reacted to them fairly well. The TCM herbs certainly help to alleviate some of these effects as they help to get rid of the toxic faster.


Pastor had given me wise counsel before the chemotherapy started. He advised me not to look out for side-effects and think too much about it....otherwise more likely they would come true. What you think, you are....So I normally do not care too much on these but focus on the healing effect. Just as Pastor R said, "If you are determined to get well, that is half the battle won."


Thank God for His protection and covering during this period. Though the immunity level drops, only once did I have running nose for a couple of days; while each of my family members has had flu especially during the 7-week year end school holiday.


(2)
Went for a follow-up with the colorectal doctor this Tue 30 May. He advised that I should wait for couple of months to have the last operation done. This is due to the effect on a particular strong drug used in chemotherapy, which affects the healing of wounds. Though I was feeling impatient, (that is why patients are called "patients" - because this is the perfect practicing ground for that virtue), he said it is good to do a one-time good operation when all the conditions are right.
Despite that, I managed to get the nurse to fix the next appointment with the surgeon on 18 Jul, instead of early Aug.

Psa 91:1  He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. 
Psa 91:2  I will say to the LORD, "My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust." 
Psa 91:3  For he will deliver you from the snare of the fowler and from the deadly pestilence. 
Psa 91:4  He will cover you with his pinions, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness is a shield and buckler. 
Psa 91:5  You will not fear the terror of the night, nor the arrow that flies by day, 
Psa 91:6  nor the pestilence that stalks in darkness, nor the destruction that wastes at noonday. 
Psa 91:7  A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you.



诗篇 91:1  住在至高者隐密处的，必住在全能者的荫下。 
Psa 91:2  我要论到耶和华说：他是我的避难所，是我的山寨，是我的神，是我所倚靠的。 
Psa 91:3  他必救你脱离捕鸟人的网罗和毒害的瘟疫。 
Psa 91:4  他必用自己的翎毛遮蔽你；你要投靠在他的翅膀底下；他的诚实是大小的盾牌。 
Psa 91:5  你必不怕黑夜的惊骇，或是白日飞的箭， 
Psa 91:6  也不怕黑夜行的瘟疫，或是午间灭人的毒病。 
Psa 91:7  虽有千人仆倒在你旁边，万人仆倒在你右边，这灾却不得临近你。 
Psa 91:8  你惟亲眼观看，见恶人遭报。 
Psa 91:9  耶和华是我的避难所；你已将至高者当你的居所， 
Psa 91:10  祸患必不临到你，灾害也不挨近你的帐棚。 

Counting Down

(1)
It was a very hot beginning for summer here. Sweeting all over. Haze from the annual burning to commence farming season from the neighboring countries covered the city-state for a couple of days. Fortunately the temperature has dropped and the weather is a lot kinder now. And the haze has gone.

Few weeks ago, a friend brought me to renew my passport in JB. The Immigration officer took no less than 10 trials to get my fingerprint scanned properly. The fingerprint is becoming lighter, a side-effect of chemotherapy. The nurse told me some people's have totally vanished. The fingers has gone through some changes, first oily, with fingerprint fading, then the skin becomes very dry........JB is very near to my house, nowadays I do not frequent it though. Used to travel there for business, liked the sea-side road leading to the factory we visited regularly few years ago. Enjoyed too the food there.


(2)
Yesterday my wife accompanied me to the hospital to begin the last chemotherapy session. It was a great relief to arrive at this stage......Thank God that the side-effects were not so severe compared to many other patients. Blood test, 2hours of infusion, followed by 2 weeks of oral prescription.
Seeing the surgeon in 2 weeks to fix the date for one last operation.

Many thanks to those who keep praying for us. May God Bless you abundantly. Looking forwards to returning to office soon after the op.

^{Ps 30}

² LORD my God, I called to you for help,
   and you healed me.
³ You, LORD, brought me up from the realm of the dead;
   you spared me from going down to the pit.

詩 篇 30

 ² 耶 和 华 ─ 我 的 　 神 啊 ， 我 曾 呼 求 你 ， 你 医 治 了 我 。
 ³ 耶 和 华 啊 ， 你 曾 把 我 的 灵 魂 从 阴 间 救 上 来 ， 使 我 存 活 ， 不 至 於 下 坑 。

Faith, Hope, Love 信望爱

(1) Visit
The church sent another visitation team to my house. Bro E and 2 others visited. He encouraged us with his personal experience with the Lord. It was always good to be lifted in faith.
At the end of the visit, Bro W told us the Lord had impressed on him 2 passages to share with us, Psalm 103 and Psalm 23. What a pleasant surprise. These were the 2 psalms that the Lord had prompted me to read few days earlier. He read for us the 103th Psalm:


^1-2 O my soul, bless God. From head to toe, I'll bless his holy name!
   O my soul, bless God,
      don't forget a single blessing!

 ^3-5 He forgives your sins—every one.
      He heals your diseases—every one.
      He redeems you from hell—saves your life!
      He crowns you with love and mercy—a paradise crown.
      He wraps you in goodness—beauty eternal.
      He renews your youth—you're always young in his presence. 


Later my university roommate also send me Ps 23 as assurance - ⁴ Even though I walk 
   through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me;
your rod and your staff, ^{they comfort me.}

 How wonderful it was to see confirmation of His words. God is ever caring for us.

(2) Bonding
I have the opportunity to spend more time with my younger son, age 11, simply because he spends more time at home than his 2 siblings. They are busily engaged in school for studies and extra-curriculum activities.
Of late, he grows very protective of me. He would help me to carry stuff, serve me drink, and always challenge me like:
"Papa, are you sure you can drink/eat this?" (due to the fact that I am on food restriction)
While accompanying him to basket ball court, he would said: "You can only shoot the ball, not running allowed(due to my wounds)."


Last weekend, we went to buy something from the neighourhood shops. After that, he helped me to carry stuffs back. Alomng the way, he asked: " Papa, do you enjoy spending money? " Since shopping itself is a therapy, I gladly said, "Yes, I do."
He replied: "So do I, I also enjoy spending money." I did not ask him whether it is because he is spending my money.


(3) Chemotherapy Session # 8 (1 more to go!)
Yesterday, my wife and I made our way to the hospital. As usual, did the blood test. Then proceed to see the oncologist, Dr K. He examined me, and asked about the side-effect from previous rounds. My feet has been experiencing large scale peeling of skin. On looking at them, he asked: "Do you want to postpone the treatment for few days?" Since we were already there, I decided to proceed with it. Then he said: "Next round, we can postpone by 1 more week." So the next and the last chemo will be on May 18. 


After reviewing everything, Dr K said: "You are doing very well." I could proceed to fix appointment with the colorectal surgeon to finish off the last medical procedure. "My job is done!!", Dr K declared. We thanked him for all the cares he has rendered. He was all smiling. So when would be next appointment, we asked. Dr K said, "2 months from next chemo. If you really have nothing to do, drop by for a chat." Normally serious, he did have some humor.


The nurse at the chemo screening station mentioned that the skin peeling off is side effect from the oral prescription. She also said the blood test results were excellent. So I proceed to the chemo. The nurse attending to me was superb. She took care of the injection with such skill that  I hardly felt the pain. She arranged for the warm pad which helped easing the numbness and tingling effect, and re-heat it 2 more times to ensure that the pad remain warm and effective.


Truly, thank God for keeping to His promise on healing. It is great to come to this part of the journey. We are looking towards going back to our normal routine soon, as the kids have always pray.

2Cor 5:7
 For we live by faith, not by sight.
^{歌 林 多 後 書 5 
7} 因 我 们 行 事 为 人 是 凭 着 信 心 ， 不 是 凭 着 眼 见 。

Why suffering? 世上会有苦难

1) Exercise
On Sunday evening, it drizzled. My younger son asked me to play table tennis with him, because he could not do other outdoor exercise. I took up the challenge, and played with him at ground floor few apartment blocks away. I was at 50-60% of my former "prowess", still managed to match his level.

It was good progress so far on this aspect. Initially I could do very slow walk(like slow-motion movie) in the park a month after the operation. It was painful, even when the shirt rubbed against the wound. Few weeks later, I  progressed to leisure walk. Another few weeks, "promoted" to normal walking pace. Last week, I was happy to go for brisk walk. Pushing myself a bit, as the song said: "let the weak says I am strong, let the poor says I am rich, because of what the Lord has done for us...." Though weakened, I shall be strong again.

2) Chemotherapy - Session # 7
On Tuesday my wife accompanied me to the hospital for chemotherapy session. It was one of the rare occasion it was done in the morning, because the doctor decided I was taking the chemotherapy well enough to skip seeing him this round. So the process flow was:
registration ->take blood test sample -> registration for chemo -> screening (involved blood pressure test, heart rate, nurse asking questions on all side effects from previous session, urine test, review blood test results to ensure suitability to proceed with chemo) -> waiting for chemo(1hr 10 min) -> chemo session (2 hrs). The morning session was much less crowded. In the afternoon all the stations of chemotherapy would be filled up, >80 of them in all.

My nurse was helpful when I told her of the 2-week long numbness I suffered last session. She offered a warm pad on the arm where the infusion took place - as the coldness would trigger a tingling and numb feeling. She also advised me to exercise and massage the arm after I went home, after use warm pad over it. These were very useful tips, the effect was much reduced after following what she said.

3) Why Suffering?
Some people asked me why we have to go through suffering. Especially since God is such a loving God.
I could not give a direct answer straightaway. However, the belief that God has best plan for each one of one keep me to be calm and still. As I journey through this phase of life and ponder over this, I think there are at least few reasons for suffering:

Our Lord Jesus mentioned in John that there would be tribulation.

John 16:33 I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world."

However, he mentioned we could have peace in Him.

a) Help us to draw closer to God, and strengthen our faith

When troubles or disasters come, we realize how helpless or powerless we actually are. We could only cry out to God. As He is the sovereign God, a God full of compassion and mercy, who promises that He would never forsake us, we could experience his might through His deliverance. We experience how real He is to us.  This is also a chance for come and seek Him, wait upon Him - patiently waiting for all His promises fulfilled. 

 The Bible records Job who went through great suffering. At the end of it, he said:

Job42:⁵I had heard of you by the hearing of the ear,

   but now my eye sees you.....

Suffering enables us to have that deeper level of his touch over our lives.  These leave indelible marks, so we would always be thankful to the awesome God.

b) that we could a comforter to fellow sufferers
 God promises to give us comfort in all suffering. As written in 2 Cor 1:3-4-
 ³ Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, ⁴ who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.

As I go through this journey, I realize it is now much easier for me to relate to others' suffering. People are generally more open when they could identify themselves with me. Just like the patients we met at the hospital, they are always open to share, and lend support and encouragement.

c) make God known, and give Him the recognition that is due(give glory to His name).
Through this trial, my Mum and siblings have started praying for me. May the peace of God and his goodness be so real to them too. My mother-in-law said she would start attending church when I fully recoverd. Many friends told me their own faith has been strengthened. I have been praying for all these wonderful people in my life for years that they could experience God more in their lives.
Romans 8:28
 ²⁸And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are^(B)called according to His purpose.


d) present an opportunity to re-examine my life--
It is a perfect time for reflection, and self examination on:
* belief
* value system
* how I live out my life
 Thinking through what I really believe in,  my thoughts, priorities, what to let go/hold on to, what are real important things and of significance....What changes I could bring to my life, my lifestyle....what could I change in my thinking, perspective; any prejudice, presumption, misconception?
These I would continue to seek May God grant me a humble heart, may the Lord continue to lead me..........
^{Rom 12:2} Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.

e) Receive blessing from others. 

Throughout this period, there are many many people who showered us with their love. They have given us their time, energies, resources, compassion.......it is a time of bonding with many, establishing and re-establishing relationship with friends old and new...

On our end, every prayer, every encouragement, every blessing is a source of motivation for us to persevere on.

(f) Appreciate life more and give thanks always treasure each day
As I journey through this phase of life, where everything takes a slower pace, it enables appreciation of  life at a different level......I begin to realize that the scenery is also beautiful as one takes the slower pace, seeing things that could easily be omitted when we rush by. As I walked the garden each day, there are plants, trees, flowers, thriving and blossoming, changing a little bit everyday. The frangipani, ixora, and many flowers that I cannot name, the trees that shed the leaves and yet grows back in a pleasant green welcome me everyday. The purple flowers that show up in February have all fallen, with expectation I look forward to seeing them  bloom again next season.

In perspective, there are always people who suffer much more, as we often saw in hospital, in newspaper, TV etc. Yet they face the challenge with much resolution and faith. They are all role models for me. So there is no reason for me not to give thanks and treasure each new day. So I attempt to smile to the guy in the mirror every single day!

祂使我躺卧在青草地上，领我到可安歇的水边He makes me lie down on green pastures, He leads me beside quite waters 

随笔

1

Couple of weeks ago, while I was reading newspaper, my wife asked why I did not wash my hand which was "stained" by the ink from the newspaper. It was actually a side-effect from the chemo. The skin tone has darkened, especially on the fingers and toes. It was the toxic that has surfaced on the skin. The same effect also seen on the sore of my right foot. It puzzles me why only on my right foot. (right footing??)

Due to the stronger dosage of the chemo drugs, I felt the side-effect longer this round. The arm on which the infusion took place continue to feel numb. Took a week to get over the lethargy. Thankfully things are getting better now.

2

On Tuesday, I went to visit the Chinese physician. She reviewed the blood test report I brought along. Liver functions have improved. Low blood count has also been restored. Thanks to the herbs that she prescribed. Dryness in the month and throat has improved significantly. 

Due to the nature of the setup, she was able to took time to chat with each patient. Unlike the government hospital, where time is more constrained. Took another prescription and off to the medical hall in Chinatown again.

3.

Mar 11. Horrific scale 9.0 earthquake in Japan. Tsunami followed. Then nuclear crisis. Snow. When it rains, it pours.

The TV footage showed much destruction. When the waves came, nothing in the path was spared. Houses, cars, everything was tossed about like toys.Uncounted lives was lost in an instant, property, cars and all physical possessions ended up in total rumbles. What a sight, what a tragedy. How powerless we are in front of the force of nature. Despite such a calamity, hats off to the Japanese who have showed much resilience and solidarity. They remained mostly calm and orderly, helping out one another in the face of calamity.

The nuclear crisis unsettled many. Invisible threat is causing fear and panic. Major evacuations ensued.

With the turmoil in Middle East and North Africa, and the frequency of natural disasters, I couldn't help to recall what Jesus said:" 

 ⁷For nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom, and there will be famines and earthquakes in place after place;    ⁸All this is but the beginning [the early pains] of the birth pangs [of the intolerable anguish].(Matthew 24)

I wish for those whom I have been praying for, that you would believe and turn to God, resting in His mightly arm who offers peace and mercy. ³² “Now learn this lesson from the fig tree: As soon as its twigs get tender and its leaves come out, you know that summer is near.(Matthew 24).  May you seriously consider this.

4

Thank God for Brother Ho.....he has been such a blessing to me all this while. Without fail, he sends me weekly sms/text of encouragement, this really helps in keeping my spirit high . 

Thank to the church too. They sent visitation team to encourage. Brother A and his gang has such a vibrant faith that easily stoke the fire of faith in us.May God bless the work of his team.
I was very touched when a friend told me he had been praying for me everyday. May God bless you Mr K!!

^2Cor4:18 So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever ()

歌林多后书4：18  因此，我們不去顧慮眼前這看得見的苦難，只嚮往那看不見的、上帝所應許將要來臨的榮耀。因為這看得見的苦難是暫時的，那看不見的榮耀是永久的。

Looking ahead 展望

The 3-week ended rather fast. Started yet another chemo session 2 days ago.

During this period, the side effects were much better than the previous round. The lethargy that set in typically 3rd day were more bearable.  Overall I was feeling quite good after the 4th day. The oral prescription took 2 weeks, then 1 week of  "rest".

Mar 8 was International Women's Day. Time again to see the oncologist, Dr K. As usual, did blood test at 8,  and consultation after that. This round was a shorter 45-minute wait for the doctor. There was another patient who did follow-up at the waiting area whom my wife chatted with. She was having colon cancer 6.5 years ago. She has since recovered  and doing a routine follow-up with Dr K. Before she left, she encouraged us to have faith. Faith -  Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see.(Hebrew 11:1). 

The blood test results continued to be good, with tumor marker CEA at good level. The doc did the routine check and  reviewed all the previous chemo session, there was once some drug was taken care before the 2nd operation. This was to facilitate the healing process. So this round he increased the dosage slightly. Dr K suggested the chemo would cover a 6-month period. He said if the body could tolerate it, it would be best to complete the recommended course. This means about 3 more sessions to go.

The chemo infusion session started at 2.40 and lasted for 2.5 hours, instead of the usual 2. The hand was numb and feeling of tingling for another 30 hours or so. By the time we reached home, it was 6.15pm. What a day to celebrate Women's Day for my wife!

                                                           

Gifts from my dear far-away friends 远方朋友的赠书

Spring Returns! 春回大地

Chinese New Year was over, so was St. Valentine's Day. These 2 days I went to see all the 3 doctors taking care of me. On Tuesday, did blood test as usual first. The lab was open from 7.30am. I reached there at about 7.45am, by then there was about 10 pax in the queue. It got real crowded after 8, with 50-60 pax at any one time. The blood test was given urgent status as I was seeing the doctors the same day.

Reviewed with Prof O - the liver surgeon. By then, it was 1 1/2 hours after the blood sample was taken, and the test report was ready. Prof explained the the report to us. Tumor markers,  CEA and CA19.9,  have returned to normal level. The liver function test results were as expected, the new growth of liver was almost completed. Prof was very happy with the progress, and of course, we were happier. It was always pleasant experience meeting with Prof, he is ever so positive, genuine and kind. There were 2 students from medical school understudying him now. Part of passing experience to budding doctors!

Next we saw Dr K, the oncologist. Dr K's clinic was always busiest among all the clinics at the Cancer Center. I suspect there is imbalance among the patient allocation, or more patients requesting to be under his care. Waiting time this round was 2 hours. Dr K is a patient man. He examined me and went through the blood test reports. He said everything was gone well. He would consider reducing the chemo drug dosage the next cycle. Then he rushed off, attending to an emergency case at the hospital. A bunch of patients in the queue were not very happy. The nurse had some hard time in appeasing them.

Next went to the Ambulatory Treatment Unit for chemotherapy. After urine test first, another 1 hour wait. 2 hours of infusion of drug followed. The nurse attending was from Xi'an, China. Hmm, meeting so many people from Xi'an in my work and now here too. China is a newer source of nurse' supply other than those more traditional sources like Malaysia and the Philippines....twice I was served by medical staff from Oman, so many nationalities working here. And the patients too are from different places, local, Malaysia, Indonesia, Thailand, Vietnam, and the most conspicuous ones are from Middle East donning their traditional costumes.  It was almost 6pm when we left. Our car would not start in the carpark.  It was flat battery. Fortunately, the guy waiting for a parking lot nearby was very helpful, he helped in jump-starting the car. Bless his kind soul. We then went to Chinatown to pick up some herbs. When we arrive, the medical hall was already closed for the day. We asked the shop assistant at the door waiting to go home. She was kind enough to open the door again to allow us get our medicine. What a blessing it was for the day!

On Wednesday reviewed with the colon-rectal surgeon. He was happy too with the progress. So we were even more thankful to God . He has arranged for all the good doctors to handle my case. As Dr K, the oncologist, promised during my very first consultation with him, "Our aim to be get rid of the source for you," he said. Truly we are grateful. Above all, we praise God who is our ultimate Healer, healing us as a whole being - body, soul and spirit. In Him our peace lies.

^{Psalm 34:8} Taste and see that the Lord is good.
      Oh, the joys of those who take refuge in him!

詩 篇 34

  ⁸ 你 们 要 尝 尝 主 恩 的 滋 味 ， 便 知 道 他 是 美 善 ； 投 靠 他 的 人 有 福 了 ！