随笔

1

Couple of weeks ago, while I was reading newspaper, my wife asked why I did not wash my hand which was "stained" by the ink from the newspaper. It was actually a side-effect from the chemo. The skin tone has darkened, especially on the fingers and toes. It was the toxic that has surfaced on the skin. The same effect also seen on the sore of my right foot. It puzzles me why only on my right foot. (right footing??)

Due to the stronger dosage of the chemo drugs, I felt the side-effect longer this round. The arm on which the infusion took place continue to feel numb. Took a week to get over the lethargy. Thankfully things are getting better now.

2

On Tuesday, I went to visit the Chinese physician. She reviewed the blood test report I brought along. Liver functions have improved. Low blood count has also been restored. Thanks to the herbs that she prescribed. Dryness in the month and throat has improved significantly. 

Due to the nature of the setup, she was able to took time to chat with each patient. Unlike the government hospital, where time is more constrained. Took another prescription and off to the medical hall in Chinatown again.

3.

Mar 11. Horrific scale 9.0 earthquake in Japan. Tsunami followed. Then nuclear crisis. Snow. When it rains, it pours.

The TV footage showed much destruction. When the waves came, nothing in the path was spared. Houses, cars, everything was tossed about like toys.Uncounted lives was lost in an instant, property, cars and all physical possessions ended up in total rumbles. What a sight, what a tragedy. How powerless we are in front of the force of nature. Despite such a calamity, hats off to the Japanese who have showed much resilience and solidarity. They remained mostly calm and orderly, helping out one another in the face of calamity.

The nuclear crisis unsettled many. Invisible threat is causing fear and panic. Major evacuations ensued.

With the turmoil in Middle East and North Africa, and the frequency of natural disasters, I couldn't help to recall what Jesus said:" 

 ⁷For nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom, and there will be famines and earthquakes in place after place;    ⁸All this is but the beginning [the early pains] of the birth pangs [of the intolerable anguish].(Matthew 24)

I wish for those whom I have been praying for, that you would believe and turn to God, resting in His mightly arm who offers peace and mercy. ³² “Now learn this lesson from the fig tree: As soon as its twigs get tender and its leaves come out, you know that summer is near.(Matthew 24).  May you seriously consider this.

4

Thank God for Brother Ho.....he has been such a blessing to me all this while. Without fail, he sends me weekly sms/text of encouragement, this really helps in keeping my spirit high . 

Thank to the church too. They sent visitation team to encourage. Brother A and his gang has such a vibrant faith that easily stoke the fire of faith in us.May God bless the work of his team.
I was very touched when a friend told me he had been praying for me everyday. May God bless you Mr K!!

^2Cor4:18 So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever ()

歌林多后书4：18  因此，我們不去顧慮眼前這看得見的苦難，只嚮往那看不見的、上帝所應許將要來臨的榮耀。因為這看得見的苦難是暫時的，那看不見的榮耀是永久的。

Looking ahead 展望

The 3-week ended rather fast. Started yet another chemo session 2 days ago.

During this period, the side effects were much better than the previous round. The lethargy that set in typically 3rd day were more bearable.  Overall I was feeling quite good after the 4th day. The oral prescription took 2 weeks, then 1 week of  "rest".

Mar 8 was International Women's Day. Time again to see the oncologist, Dr K. As usual, did blood test at 8,  and consultation after that. This round was a shorter 45-minute wait for the doctor. There was another patient who did follow-up at the waiting area whom my wife chatted with. She was having colon cancer 6.5 years ago. She has since recovered  and doing a routine follow-up with Dr K. Before she left, she encouraged us to have faith. Faith -  Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see.(Hebrew 11:1). 

The blood test results continued to be good, with tumor marker CEA at good level. The doc did the routine check and  reviewed all the previous chemo session, there was once some drug was taken care before the 2nd operation. This was to facilitate the healing process. So this round he increased the dosage slightly. Dr K suggested the chemo would cover a 6-month period. He said if the body could tolerate it, it would be best to complete the recommended course. This means about 3 more sessions to go.

The chemo infusion session started at 2.40 and lasted for 2.5 hours, instead of the usual 2. The hand was numb and feeling of tingling for another 30 hours or so. By the time we reached home, it was 6.15pm. What a day to celebrate Women's Day for my wife!

                                                           

Gifts from my dear far-away friends 远方朋友的赠书

Spring Returns! 春回大地

Chinese New Year was over, so was St. Valentine's Day. These 2 days I went to see all the 3 doctors taking care of me. On Tuesday, did blood test as usual first. The lab was open from 7.30am. I reached there at about 7.45am, by then there was about 10 pax in the queue. It got real crowded after 8, with 50-60 pax at any one time. The blood test was given urgent status as I was seeing the doctors the same day.

Reviewed with Prof O - the liver surgeon. By then, it was 1 1/2 hours after the blood sample was taken, and the test report was ready. Prof explained the the report to us. Tumor markers,  CEA and CA19.9,  have returned to normal level. The liver function test results were as expected, the new growth of liver was almost completed. Prof was very happy with the progress, and of course, we were happier. It was always pleasant experience meeting with Prof, he is ever so positive, genuine and kind. There were 2 students from medical school understudying him now. Part of passing experience to budding doctors!

Next we saw Dr K, the oncologist. Dr K's clinic was always busiest among all the clinics at the Cancer Center. I suspect there is imbalance among the patient allocation, or more patients requesting to be under his care. Waiting time this round was 2 hours. Dr K is a patient man. He examined me and went through the blood test reports. He said everything was gone well. He would consider reducing the chemo drug dosage the next cycle. Then he rushed off, attending to an emergency case at the hospital. A bunch of patients in the queue were not very happy. The nurse had some hard time in appeasing them.

Next went to the Ambulatory Treatment Unit for chemotherapy. After urine test first, another 1 hour wait. 2 hours of infusion of drug followed. The nurse attending was from Xi'an, China. Hmm, meeting so many people from Xi'an in my work and now here too. China is a newer source of nurse' supply other than those more traditional sources like Malaysia and the Philippines....twice I was served by medical staff from Oman, so many nationalities working here. And the patients too are from different places, local, Malaysia, Indonesia, Thailand, Vietnam, and the most conspicuous ones are from Middle East donning their traditional costumes.  It was almost 6pm when we left. Our car would not start in the carpark.  It was flat battery. Fortunately, the guy waiting for a parking lot nearby was very helpful, he helped in jump-starting the car. Bless his kind soul. We then went to Chinatown to pick up some herbs. When we arrive, the medical hall was already closed for the day. We asked the shop assistant at the door waiting to go home. She was kind enough to open the door again to allow us get our medicine. What a blessing it was for the day!

On Wednesday reviewed with the colon-rectal surgeon. He was happy too with the progress. So we were even more thankful to God . He has arranged for all the good doctors to handle my case. As Dr K, the oncologist, promised during my very first consultation with him, "Our aim to be get rid of the source for you," he said. Truly we are grateful. Above all, we praise God who is our ultimate Healer, healing us as a whole being - body, soul and spirit. In Him our peace lies.

^{Psalm 34:8} Taste and see that the Lord is good.
      Oh, the joys of those who take refuge in him!

詩 篇 34

  ⁸ 你 们 要 尝 尝 主 恩 的 滋 味 ， 便 知 道 他 是 美 善 ； 投 靠 他 的 人 有 福 了 ！

Update 进展

The pain from the wound after the op was more intense than I ever thought. After 3 weeks, I was still feeling not so well though there was gradual improvement daily. At night, I have to try to get into a sleeping position that minimized the pain felt. My PMR(Pain Management Regime) was not very successful even though I tried various techniques. I pleaded with God. He spoke to my mind I would be better in 2 days' time. Truly there was a significant improvement 2 days later. I was able to walk ~1.5x the speed I managed the day before. There are another quantum leap last Thursday. Almost all the pain were gone that day, I could sleep in whatever position I wish. What a relief and a blessing to enjoy such pleasant surprises! Now there is the pain is at ~3% to remind me not to go running yet. 

The chemotherapy that started last Wed Jan 26 went fairly well. I was feeling real tired on the 2nd to 4th days, and sleeping a lot. Other than that, thankfully the side effects like giddiness, dryness in throat and taste change are manageable. When Pastor called, he was actually quite happy that I did so well(we pray hard for no side effect!)

Yesterday, I went to consult the Chinese physician again. The hospital was very quite compared to a normal day, due to the Chinese New Year. So shorter queuing time.  TCM helps to ease the discomfort felt from the chemo. The kind physician provided another prescription after reviewing the medical and blood test reports from the doctors. 

It was raining quite a lot here. Feeling cold. Yesterday the sun shone again. So after almost 1 week, I resumed strolling again in the park. Felt good.

Today is the Chinese New Year Eve, wishing everyone a good holiday; enjoy the re-union and stay healthy. Thanks to those who send wishes and visited, and also those who pray!

Jeremiah 31:3 (New Living Translation)

 ³ Long ago the Lord said to Israel:
   “I have loved you, my people, with an everlasting love.
      With unfailing love I have drawn you to myself.

耶 利 米 書 31:3 (Chinese Union Version (Simplified))

 ³ 古 时 （ 或 译 ： 从 远 方 ） 耶 和 华 向 以 色 列 （ 原 文 是 我 ） 显 现 ， 说 ： 我 以 永 远 的 爱 爱 你 ， 因 此 我 以 慈 爱 吸 引 你 。

Next treatment 下个疗程

After a fairly long break, saw the oncologist again this morning. Dr K was all smiling today. He was spot on with the chemo drugs. They have very effectively killed the tumor cells. The blood test today showed that CEA (a tumor marker) had returned to normal, which was great news. So the doctor's recommendation was to continue chemo using the same drugs. He said eradicate it altogether.

Next chemo will start tomorrow. Instead of the 48-hour session, after couple of hours of dripping/pumping the drugs, the rest of the infusion would be replaced by oral drugs. It is a great relief. Otherwise, it would mean inserting a (Hickmann's) catheter on the chest again. That had given me trouble the last time, with bleeding and attention at the A&E department, extra precautions to be taken during shower, weekly dressing and severely limiting the use of my right hand becos' I could not carry weight more than 3kg and lift my arm above my hand (but thank to that - I have learnt to use my left hand much more nowaday, like brushing my teeth etc...). And also reduce the number of trip to the treatment centre.

Chemo sessions will last minimum of 3 months(inclusive of the 1.5 mos. done previously) and maximum of 6 months. It would be dependent of the body reaction, and blood test results.

Chinese New Year is just around the corner. Wishing everyone a Blessed New Year, and may you enjoy good health!


^{Psalm77： 14} You are the God who performs miracles;
   you display your power among the peoples.

詩 篇 77
¹⁴ 你 是 行 奇 事 的 神 ； 你 曾 在 列 邦 中 彰 显 你 的 能 力 。

Looking Back 回顾

Well, the pain has continued to diminish. Still could not walk fast though. Everything has to go slow motion in order not to induce pain. However, thankfully, my strength is returning more and more.

At this point, I did some looking back.................. From the beginning, we are quite at a lost on what  to expect and how to respond. We are very grateful to many people who helped us one way or another. There was one lady we went to for some counseling at NCC. Her advice was very practical. "Pull all your resources together," she said. "Make a list of what you have." We took it from there. Of course, financial impact was something we have to consider foremost. All the insurance agents have been were very helpful, so were the colleagues we consulted with.  I am so blessed that the bulk of the medical expense has been covered by the medical insurance which I purchased a few years back. Medical care is costly. Nonetheless, we are very thankful for the good medical expertise and facilities available here. So it is best to purchase sufficient medical coverage. I pray that there is no need to use this, just to be safe though.

We are very grateful to have a support network. We received much help and blessing from family, friends, colleagues, Church and support groups. Their care and concerns have spurred me to stay positive and motivated. Their encouragement and prayers are vital during the road of recovery. As a family, we prayed together every night. There are also many people who pray incessantly for us, and some friends, colleagues, relatives and support group give very practical help and advice. Without anyone of them, it would be difficult to walk through those dark moments. 

Then there are another resource we draw upon heavily. That is FAITH. I was quite calm the first couple of months.  Taking thing one step at a time, fully trusting God for His plan. As stated in Jeremiah29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. However, there were times I struggled. As the days extended to weeks and month, sometimes I grew frustrated. Some simple tasks at times seemed unbelievingly difficult to do. During the hospital stay, once I looked out of the window. I saw some workers cleaning the hall way in the next building. I thought then, "how good it is just to be normal, able to work without any physical problem!"

Time and again, I have to come before the Lord to seek His strength, and to wait upon Him, and to exercise patience and perseverance. As what He promises, and evident from my earlier accounts, He is always faithful and shows His mercy. His grace is sufficient for me. There are things which are so unpredictable in life. But God is never changing, the Creator of the universe, and full of loving-kindness. . Do you not want to anchor your life in an unfailing God?  Would you want to let Him guide the path of your life?

Isaiah 58:11 

 ¹¹ The Lord will guide you continually, giving you water when you are dry

      and restoring your strength. You will be like a well-watered garden,
      
      like an ever-flowing spring.

以 賽 亞 書 58:11 

 ¹¹ 耶 和 华 也 必 时 常 引 导 你 ， 在 乾 旱 之 地 使 你 心 满 意 足 ， 骨 头 强 壮 。 你 必 像 浇 灌 的 园 子 ， 又 像 水 流 不 绝 的 泉 源 。

Progress 进展

It has been more than 2 weeks after the op. The pain has 80-90% subsided.  Actually felt quite good despite some discomfort. Resumed strolling in the park yesterday. Met a neighbor during the walk, he offered his kind moral support.

Reviewed with the surgeon today. He explained about the op and the histology again.  All is progressing well. Due to the fact that it was a major operation, the "residual" pain would last for quite a while, especially when engaged in physical activities such as walking. He explained that in other countries this op would require a hospital stay of up to 2 weeks. Otherwise, he said, I could assume myself as NORMAL now. Thank God!!

手术后已超过2周，休息了这段时间，疼痛约80-90%已消退。 虽有稍微的不适，但整体感觉还挺好的。昨天开始到楼下公园散步去也。遇到邻居，他很善意地上前来为我打气。

今天去做了复诊。医生更详细的解释了手术及化验报告。基本一切进展良好。由于是个大手术，剩余的疼痛会持续好一阵子，尤其是活动时。医生说在其他国家，这一手术应住院达两周的。除此之外，医生说一切可说是正常了。感谢主！