Again Give Thanks

The radiation therapy was completed on Nov 30. Each Friday during the treatment period, I had a review with the radiology doctor. By the 4th week, he mentioned that by then most patients would have burning sensation when urinating, or had blood in the urine, diarrhea and so on. Thank God all these side effects did not manifest. I only have tanned/darkened skin around the pelvic area where the radiation was targeted. When the doctor saw me on completion of radiation therapy, he examined me and said there was some skin tear on the backside. He assured me that everything should return to normal after 2 weeks. He said with the completion of the RT, I could enjoy my Christmas!

Each time I underwent the RT, in the tunnel of the machine, I would recite and meditate upon two of my favorite psalms, Ps 23 and 91. 

Psa 23:1  A Psalm of David. The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. 

Psa 23:2  He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. 

Psa 23:3  He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. 

Psa 23:4  Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. 

Psa 23:5  You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. 

Psa 23:6  Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the LORD forever. 

Psa 23:1  （大卫的诗。）耶和华是我的牧者，我必不至缺乏。 

Psa 23:2  他使我躺卧在青草地上，领我在可安歇的水边。 

Psa 23:3  他使我的灵魂苏醒，为自己的名引导我走义路。 

Psa 23:4  我虽然行过死荫的幽谷，也不怕遭害，因为你与我同在；你的杖，你的竿，都安慰我。 

Psa 23:5  在我敌人面前，你为我摆设筵席；你用油膏了我的头，使我的福杯满溢。 

Psa 23:6  我一生一世必有恩惠慈爱随著我；我且要住在耶和华的殿中，直到永远。 

Psa 91:1  He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. 

Psa 91:2  I will say to the LORD, "My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust." 

Psa 91:3  For he will deliver you from the snare of the fowler and from the deadly pestilence. 

Psa 91:4  He will cover you with his pinions, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness is a shield and buckler. 

Psa 91:5  You will not fear the terror of the night, nor the arrow that flies by day, 

Psa 91:6  nor the pestilence that stalks in darkness, nor the destruction that wastes at noonday. 

Psa 91:7  A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you. 

Psa 91:8  You will only look with your eyes and see the recompense of the wicked. 

Psa 91:9  Because you have made the LORD your dwelling place-- the Most High, who is my refuge-- 

Psa 91:10  no evil shall be allowed to befall you, no plague come near your tent. 

Psa 91:11  For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways. 

Psa 91:12  On their hands they will bear you up, lest you strike your foot against a stone. 

Psa 91:13  You will tread on the lion and the adder; the young lion and the serpent you will trample underfoot. 

Psa 91:14  "Because he holds fast to me in love, I will deliver him; I will protect him, because he knows my name. 

Psa 91:15  When he calls to me, I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble; I will rescue him and honor him. 

Psa 91:16  With long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation." 

Psa 91:1  住在至高者隐密处的，必住在全能者的荫下。 

Psa 91:2  我要论到耶和华说：他是我的避难所，是我的山寨，是我的神，是我所倚靠的。 

Psa 91:3  他必救你脱离捕鸟人的网罗和毒害的瘟疫。 

Psa 91:4  他必用自己的翎毛遮蔽你；你要投靠在他的翅膀底下；他的诚实是大小的盾牌。 

Psa 91:5  你必不怕黑夜的惊骇，或是白日飞的箭， 

Psa 91:6  也不怕黑夜行的瘟疫，或是午间灭人的毒病。 

Psa 91:7  虽有千人仆倒在你旁边，万人仆倒在你右边，这灾却不得临近你。 

Psa 91:8  你惟亲眼观看，见恶人遭报。 

Psa 91:9  耶和华是我的避难所；你已将至高者当你的居所， 

Psa 91:10  祸患必不临到你，灾害也不挨近你的帐棚。 

Psa 91:11  因他要为你吩咐他的使者，在你行的一切道路上保护你。 

Psa 91:12  他们要用手托著你，免得你的脚碰在石头上。 

Psa 91:13  你要踹在狮子和虺蛇的身上，践踏少壮狮子和大蛇。 

Psa 91:14  神说：因为他专心爱我，我就要搭救他；因为他知道我的名，我要把他安置在高处。 

Psa 91:15  他若求告我，我就应允他；他在急难中，我要与他同在；我要搭救他，使他尊贵。 

Psa 91:16  我要使他足享长寿，将我的救恩显明给他。 

I thank God for these comforting words, as I meditating upon them while going through the treatment, they gave me strength and peace. They took away my cares and all worries as I lay down there in the radiation machine each time.

Yesterday afternoon met with the oncologist. Blood and urine samples were taken early in the morning. After he reviewed the results, he said everything was good. Tumor markers CEA, CA125 and CA19,9 were good. He then examined me. I asked when the last chemo drug could be stopped. He recommended to have another PET scan done to decide. The scan was scheduled to be on Jan 4. Next review with the oncologist would be on Jan 7. He would then decide when to stop the drug. He said pray for good results......Yesterday the drug was prescribed for another 4 weeks, the pump which dispensed the drug would be changed every Monday at the hospital. This particular drug gives minimum side effects, other than carrying the pump, there is no much inconvenience.

I am grateful that this challenging journey would soon be over. Reflecting upon the promise of the Lord when this started, I thank Him and friends and family for taking care of me. It is difficult to put the feeling in words. Your prayers, visits, messages have helped me coping thus far. I am very appreciative of all your kindness. Like my hair that has slowly grow back, it feels like a new life. May you too experience newness as you do kind deeds and send kind gesture each time. May God Bless you, have a great Christmas!

The nurse did not believe the reading when I took the weight at the hospital on Monday, so she asked me to weigh the second time. "You are fat!" she declared after confirming - she was the same nurse that took my weight 3 weeks back.  I had put on than 3 kg during this period.

Thereafter, reviewed with the oncologist on the same day. The blood and urine test reports were good, except for protein which was slightly low. So the doctor ordered infusion of albumin while changing the pump for the chemo drug. This drug, he said, would be carried on for as long as he deemed fit.

Meantime, continuing with the radiation therapy. The machine was down last Monday and Tuesday. The technical staff explained that it was one of the rare occurrences.  Normally it should resume within 1 day. So make up sessions were arranged over last Saturday and Sunday. Met with the radiology doctor last and this Friday for weekly review. He examined me and explained that bloating and tiredness were expected, I just need to take naps whenever I felt tired. However, very thankfully, these conditions had improved over time. I felt that the strength had came back.  Dryness of mouth and throat had set in more recently. So far, completed 17 sessions of radiation therapy.

Looking forwards to the completion of treatment. Thereafter another PET scan would be performed around middle of next month. Thanks all for the support, wishing everyone good holiday during this festive season. May God Bless you.

Psa 31:7  I will rejoice and be glad in your steadfast love, because you have seen my affliction; you have known the distress of my soul, 
Psa 31:8  and you have not delivered me into the hand of the enemy; you have set my feet in a broad place.  

Psa 31:7  我要为你的慈爱高兴欢喜；因为你见过我的困苦，知道我心中的艰难。 
Psa 31:8  你未曾把我交在仇敌手里；你使我的脚站在宽阔之处。 

The Next Phase

"Mister, you have dropped 3 kg over the past 2 and half weeks, that is a lot!" the nurse exclaimed after taking my weight Wed Oct 17. That was due to the side effects after the 9th cycle of chemotherapy. I was feeling really lethargic, the diarrhea further reducing the appetite. Took a lot of rest, and slept much more too. Then the pimples which showed up during the past few cycles on the face were all over my head. They  bring much discomfort especially when I lay down.

A PET scan was done earlier on Oct 16. Reviewed with the oncologist on Oct 17. He examined the blood and urine test reports, and said they were excellent. The PET scan results showed some anomalies over the liver area, after further check with the radiology doctor who performed the RFA, he thought it could be due to that procedure. Another scan will be done in 2 months' time. Meantime, there is no cause for concerns.  One of the chemo drug would however, still be administered for as long as possible, this had proven to be helpful in the radiation therapy. This is dispensed through a pump, which is connected to the catheter line 24/7.  I could also move away from the high protein diet taken during the chemo treatment period. The oncologist said the toughest period was over, I should feel very happy. Thanks to God for seeing me through this trying period, and grateful to many who send prayer heavenwards.

Thur Oct 18, I was at the hospital again for the preparation of radiation therapy. A CT scan was done, with all the necessary markers done on the body. A newer form of radiation therapy called tomotherapy would be used for the next 5-6 weeks, for 27 sessions. The first session was done on Oct 23. The procedure lasted about 15 minutes. Basically I laid down on the radiation machine, a scan was done, then the nurses would make some necessary adjustment, then proceed with radiation. There was no sensation whatsoever. Before I realized it, the whole process was completed.

So the appetite has return to normal, I could eat well again. Pray that there is minimal or no side effects from the radiation therapy.......Trusting in God the Almighty for He is good all the time, His loving kindness and mercies cease not!



1Pe 2:24  He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed. 
彼得前书 2:24  他被挂在木头上，亲身担当了我们的罪，使我们既然在罪上死，就得以在义上活。因他受的鞭伤，你们便得了医治。 

Coping with side effects

Some friend asked me about the side effects arising from chemotherapy, mainly as reference to help someone they know.

Below is a record of what I experienced, and some ways I cope. Depending on the drugs used, there could be various side effects, and individuals would react differently too.

- Chemotherapy drugs originated from chemical warfare, which someone also found some therapeutic effects and adapted the toxins for cancer treatment. So drink lot of fluid to help the key organs (kidney and liver) to get rid of the toxin. Water, barley drink, chrysanthemum tea, green tea, green bean soup etc are some recommended fluid. Typically 2-3 liters per day. If the urine passed is yellowish, that means insufficient fluid is taken.

- Low white & red blood cell: reducing immunity level: avoid those who sneeze or having flu. Avoid crowd.  Get blood booster from the oncologist during those days the blood counts dive.

White blood cell booster syringe

- Fever: Take medication, if body temperature exceeds 38deg C, take prescribed antibiotics, or see the doctor.

- Taste buds change, causing lose in appetite:  a fellow patient told me to put some hard candy in the mouth during chemo infusion, this proves to be useful in minimizing the taste change

- Low in protein: Take lots of meat and other proteins during chemo treatment period

- Diarrhea: Drink lots of water to re hydrate  Some food could help in easing the diarrhea, like boiled rice,  tapioca, banana, peanut butter......isotonic drink like H2O, 100Plus and porridge water would help. Avoid milk, coffee, high fiber food till conditions improve

- Fatigue: Take lot of rest. Sleep

- Dry skin:  Moisturize.

- Skin peels, on fingers, legs, and feet: Get prescribed medicine from oncologist.

- Fungus growth on tongue:  Get prescribed medicine from oncologist.

- Nose bleeding: Squeeze the nose to prevent flow to help in blood clot.

- Skin pigmentation especially on fingers, toes, and bottom of the soles. This should fade away after chemo.

- Hair drop: Shave.

- Dryness in throat and mouth: Drink water regularly. For mouth wash, use salt water to gargle, avoid using alcohol-based mouth wash

- Mouth ulcers, sores: use pain relief gel like "bonjela"....

- Numbness on fingers, lips : -

There are other side effect like change in voice especially the first few days the chemo infusion was done, difficulty in sleeping the first day of the chemo infusion etc.....
.So my strategy is not to look out for side effects, but inform the oncologist if any arises. He would make necessary remedies.

Also, on the other front, to help get over the side effects:

+ Keep faith in God, have a strong 'dose' of prayer and praise.

+ Keep positive attitude. 1Peter5:7 Casting  all the cares upon the Lord, for He cares for me. Philippians 4: ⁶ Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

+ Support from family, friends and colleagues

+ Exercise if the body allows.

+ See a good TCM physician. TCM is able to moderate some of the side effects. Inform the oncologist about taking TCM too.

以 賽 亞 書 40:28-31 Chinese Union Version (Simplified) (CUVS) 28 你 岂 不 曾 知 道 麽 ？ 你 岂 不 曾 听 见 麽 ？ 永 在 的 神 耶 和 华 ， 创 造 地 极 的 主 ， 并 不 疲 乏 ， 也 不 困 倦 ； 他 的 智 慧 无 法 测 度 。 29 疲 乏 的 ， 他 赐 能 力 ； 软 弱 的 ， 他 加 力 量 。 30 就 是 少 年 人 也 要 疲 乏 困 倦 ； 强 壮 的 也 必 全 然 跌 倒 。 31 但 那 等 候 耶 和 华 的 必 从 新 得 力 。 他 们 必 如 鹰 展 翅 上 腾 ； 他 们 奔 跑 却 不 困 倦 ， 行 走 却 不 疲 乏 。 Isaiah 40:28-31 New American Standard Bible (NASB) 28 Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth Does not become weary or tired. His understanding is inscrutable. 29 He gives strength to the weary, And to him who lacks might He increases power. 30 Though youths grow weary and tired, And vigorous young men stumble badly, 31 Yet those who wait for the Lord Will gain new strength; They will mount up with wings like eagles, They will run and not get tired, They will walk and not become weary.

Emm.....finally

The 8th cycle of chemo had brought some more severe side effects, I was feeling real lethargic during the 2nd week of the cycle. It was normally 2 days each for 1st and 2nd weeks to get over the fatigue. This time it dragged on for up to 5 days during the 2nd week. I was spending a lot of time resting and sleeping. Also developed a fever during the 3rd week. It was the first time ever I had this issue. Thankfully with medication and prayers, the fever quickly subsided overnight, even though associated headache lasted few days more. Very grateful, however, that other side effects like diarrhea had greatly reduced. God was good.

Reviewed with the doctor on Monday Oct 1. All indicators from blood and urine tests were well, except for the liver functions. These could be due to the fever and associated medication.

The doctor said finally this is the 9th and final cycle of chemo. Started the chemo this Monday, ending in 3 weeks' time. PET scan will be done towards the end of this cycle. Depending on the results, he would probably activate the next course of treatment, the radiotherapy.

Have some preliminary discussion with the doctor in charge of radiology oncology. He would need to read the previous and latest PET scan reports to recommend a treatment course. Typical treatment would be 33 times, 5 times a week. Looking forwards the completion of all treatment. It has been a long journey. Thanks to all who supports me one way or another. May God Bless you and your family!

Psa 91:14  "Because he holds fast to me in love, I will deliver him; I will protect him, because he knows my name. 
Psa 91:15  When he calls to me, I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble; I will rescue him and honor him. 
Psa 91:16  With long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation." 


诗篇 91:14-16
  神说：因为他专心爱我，我就要搭救他；因为他知道我的名，我要把他安置在高处。 
  他若求告我，我就应允他；他在急难中，我要与他同在；我要搭救他，使他尊贵。 
  我要使他足享长寿，将我的救恩显明给他

Soldiering On

Reflecting on the day I first arrived in this new land to pursue higher study many years ago....... Little did I know I would stay here longer than I stayed in home country. It is here that I feel comfortable and at home. It is here that I made friends and set up family. It is here that God found me.....

It was during those undergrad days that a good friend and classmate who persistently encouraged me through Bible verses. He stood out as a helpful guy, compassionate and cheerful, very much exemplifying the characters of God. On quite a few occasions he invited me to church. After rejecting him a few times, I relented and followed him one Sunday. After attending couple of services, I felt my heart stirred quite a bit.  Later I stepped forwards to accept Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior.

There was a fellowship in the campus which we attended regularly. We learnt and grew together in the knowledge of God. We became good friends who remain faithful after so many years. So I was glad to met up one last week over a simple lunch, a special friend whom I clicked very well since those we first time we met in that fellowship. We had a good time and shared about family, travel, church, missions, health and so on.....Throughout so many years, we can see the hand of God over our lives. Despite many failings on my part, God remains faithful, His loving-kindness never ceases, His mercies never comes to an end.

Last week a team of colleagues also visited. Some sent books to nourish my soul. It was good to catch up. They are all blessings in my life. I thank God for all the colleagues, friends, relatives and families. Indeed they have given me much strength with their support.

As a routine after each chemo cycle of 3 weeks, we met with the doctor on Monday for a review. After usual examination, the doctor said according to the blood and urine test reports, the kidney and liver functions continue to be good, blood counts were alright, tumor marker CEA was good at <0.5. He also confirmed that I would need to go for 9 cycles of chemo.
" I know this is a tough program", he reiterated, "hopefully the reward is well worth it."
"Surely, have faith." I said. It was after I said this that I saw exactly the 2 words - Have Faith - printed on his cup.

Thereafter the 8th chemo cycles started. The past few weeks my appetite continued to improve, over latest 3 weeks, I found myself putting on 2.5kg. I am grateful that the side effects seem to be much reduced now. Praise God for his wonderful answers to our prayers. So soldiering on.......

Psa 37:3  Have faith in the Lord, and do good; be at rest in the land, and go after righteousness. 
Psa 37:4  So will your delight be in the Lord, and he will give you your heart's desires. 
Psa 37:5  Put your life in the hands of the Lord; have faith in him and he will do it. 


诗篇37:3-5  你当倚靠耶和华而行善，住在地上，以他的信实为粮； 
又要以耶和华为乐，他就将你心里所求的赐给你。 
当将你的事交托耶和华，并倚靠他，他就必成全。 

RFA

I went for early admission on Aug 21, a day after the Hari Raya holiday. The hospital was efficient, I was in the ward shortly after submitting the registration papers.

I was pushed around 11.30am to the CT scan room where the procedure was to be performed. Light anesthesia was applied around 12noon, the doctor assured me I would be awoke within 1 hr. The radiologist came and explained the procedure, and I signed the paper. He mentioned that from the PET scan there is no tumor, but the procedure would be preventive.

By 12.50pm I was awoke, feeling nausea the few hours after, which  I slept  through most of the time. I felt no pain, though painkiller was given for the next 18 hrs. The procedure involved inserting a needle through the stomach wall into the liver, guided by CT scan. High Frequency electricity was applied to generate heat to burn off any cells/tumors that were undesirable. The night sleep was interrupted with constant monitoring of blood pressure........

The oncologist did his round early the next morning, arriving at the ward at 7.30am. He mentioned all was well. The nurse had earlier removed the gauze measuring around 6" by 6", and replaced with a small plaster. When the oncologist checked the size of the wound, he immediately said get discharged. He mentioned all was well, and encouraged me with the experience of another patient. So I was discharged early. Only after reaching home did I felt some slight pain around the area, which did not bother me too much.

The billing was efficient too, the biz associate came to ask me to sign off the bill before the discharge. It came up to a significant 4-digit sum, to my surprise. I was grateful that this was paid by the insurance policy which I purchased (Integrated Medishield Plan, the premium is paid using CPF fund). Also the chemo sessions did not come cheap, each at a 5-digit sum. Since there have been multiple sessions, the sum quickly added up. I saw how a friend struggled financially when his cancer-stricken wife had to foregone some treatment..... So it is imperative to have sufficient insurance coverage, hopefully there is no need to be used at all .....

Glad to report that the side effects from the recent round of chemo are much reduced. Try to do more exercise to stay fitter. Thank God and praise Him for answering our prayers.......

Psalm 121

⁵

The Lord watches over you—
    the Lord is your shade at your right hand;
⁶ the sun will not harm you by day,
    nor the moon by night.

⁷ The Lord will keep you from all harm—
    he will watch over your life;
⁸ the Lord will watch over your coming and going
    both now and forevermore.

诗篇121:5-8  保护你的是耶和华；耶和华在你右边荫庇你。 

 白日，太阳必不伤你；夜间，月亮必不害你。 

 耶和华要保护你，免受一切的灾害；他要保护你的性命。 

 你出你入，耶和华要保护你，从今时直到永远。 

It is not to be yet

Done blood test and PET scan on Thur Aug 16.

Reviewed the results with the doctor Fri Aug 17. The doctor said the results were excellent. The treatment so far has shown results with improvement beyond his expectations (And we know why). Liver, kidney functions were good. Blood test results were well, with tumor marker of <0.5 (detection level).

To be on the very safe side, the doctor recommended some more chemotherapy to be done. I felt he was keeping the card too close to his chest, perhaps he was concerned with information overload???.....
"How many more cycles, Doc?" I asked.
"Maximum 3 cycles." He replied.

On top of this, he recommended a procedure called Radiofrequency Ablation(RFA); a high frequency electricity using electrode is used to generate heat to kill the tumor on the liver. Though the scan has shown no tumor, the doctor believed that this procedure will help to prevent any possible recurrence. I will be admitted to hospital Tue Aug 21 for the procedure, and be discharged the next day.

So the 7th cycle of chemo started on Fri Aug 17. So my earlier wish on final chemotherapy session was not to be, as yet. Nonetheless, it is on count-down mode. Very thankful that the previous round, the side effects were much reduced. Indeed God has been merciful and faithful! We could praise Him always.

³ 

Psalm 71:3
Be to me a rock of refuge,
    to which I may continually come;
you have given the command to save me,
    for you are my rock and my fortress.

詩 篇 71

³ 求 你 作 我 常 住 的 磐 石 ； 你 已 经 命 定 要 救 我 ， 因 为 你 是 我 的 岩 石 ， 我 的 山 寨 。

Onto next step

Finally done the last chemo infusion yesterday.

Reviewed with the doctor last Monday. Again all the blood and urine test results were positive. Kidney, liver functions were well, tumor marker CEA at all time round low of 0.6. Indeed God has been faithful! Praise Him! I was complaining and felt discouraged with the side effects from the 5th cycle. But the results probably was worth that amount of physical suffering.......One good news is that the appetite has improved quite a lot over these few weeks.

The schedule for this round of chemo is as follows:

Mon 30 July 6th cycle of Chemo session I

Wed Hydration, white blood cell(WBC) booster injection
Sat Blood test
Mon 6 Aug Chemo session II
Wed Hydration, WBC booster injection
Fri WBC booster injection
Sun WBC booster injection
Mon 13 Aug Hydration, Red blood cell booster injection

Doctor has asked for another round of full blood test and PET scan on Aug 16. 

On Aug 17 there will be another review with him. Based on the results, he would decide on the next phase of treatment. We pray that God would grant him wisdom in determining the best course of action. Trusting in God based on His promises.

Rom8

³⁷ In everything we have won more than a victory because of Christ who loves us.

罗马书 8 

³⁷ 然 而 ， 靠 着 爱 我 们 的 主 ， 在 这 一 切 的 事 上 已 经 得 胜 有 馀 了 。

Thankful

After the 4th cycle of cheomtherapy, I went to see the Chinese TCM physician. She was happy to see the progress based on the examination and the blood test results. She mentioned that everything was under good control. She prescribed with medicine, mainly to boost immunity level to last through the whole chemotherapy sessions.


Reviewed with the oncologist again on this Monday. The doctor examined me and was glad with the latest blood test report done over the weekend. Thank God that all results were fine; including very low/safe tumor marker CEA at 0.7, blood counts, liver and kidney functions are well under control, except a bit low in protein level. We provided some feedback on the side effects, the doctor said: " I know this is tough program, please bear with it...."

After that, proceed with 5th cycle of chemo. The schedule for this cycle is as below, with the aim of minimizing side effects and boosting immunity level:


Mon 9 July Chemo session I
Wed Hydration, white blood cell(WBC) booster injection
Mon 16 July Chemo session II
Wed Hydration, WBC booster injection
Fri WBC booster injection
Sun WBC booster injection
Mon 23 Jul Hydration, Red blood cell booster injection

Except for the booster injection which could be done at home, all other procedures need to be performed at the hospital. We are very grateful that our Uncle has been helping to ferry me to-and-fro for the treatment most of the time.

Over the weekend, a colleague came to visit from faraway land, the presence lifted our spirits. Thanks too for those who uphold us in prayer and other forms of encouragement. We are very blessed to have you, may God Bless you and make His face shines upon you.

Psalm 107

¹ O give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; for His mercy and loving-kindness endure forever!

诗篇 107

1“你们要称谢耶和华，因他本为善，他的慈爱永远长存！”

ALL GONE!!

I was happy to complete the 3rd cycle of chemotherapy on Jun 11.


This was followed by a PET scan at the hospital on Jun 15. This was a couple of hours kind of procedure. The actual scan was ~20 min., prior to that radioactive tracer was injected into the vein and muscle relaxant. Then lay still and rested for about 45min to 1 hr before the scan could proceed.


Reviewed the scan and blood test results with the doctor on Jun 18. 


The scan results were perfect. The affected areas during the previous scan 2 months back were all clear now, which means the cancerous cells were ALL GONE. The tumor marker CEA was at 0.8, the lowest recorded so far. A comprehensive blood test was done this round. Other markers like CA19.9,AFP, CA125 and PSA were all within normal range. Indeed thank and praise God for the wonderful results.

The doctor said it was not time to pop open the champagne yet. He said I should carry on with 3 more cycles of chemotherapy, to complete the protocol. It seemed he was giving us information in installation! Nonetheless, we were thankful for what he had done. So 4th cycle of chemo started on Monday Jun 18.


Praying  for stamina to go through the treatment...........

希 伯 來 書 10:23

²³ 也 要 坚 守 我 们 所 承 认 的 指 望 ， 不 至 摇 动 ， 因 为 那 应 许 我 们 的 是 信 实 的 。

Hebrews 10:23 (ESV)

²³  Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful.

Walk by Faith

Went back to see the doctor on last Monday May 14. Reviewed the blood test results. Everything including kidney, liver functions were fine. These indicators showed how well the body system was taking the chemo, as they are the main organs to remove all the toxins.

After 2nd round of chemo, >95% of the side effects encountered during the first round were gone. Thank God indeed for His amazing grace.  Doctor said since the side effects were gone, he would recommend to go for full 3 cycles of chemo as originally planned. He explained that the side effects which was so severe after the 1st cycle, prompted him to request from scan after completing 2 cycles. This was not longer the case, so to be safe it was still better to go for 3 cycles.

What had changed along the way? I believe prayers played utmost important parts. I sensed somehow something had changed. In the spiritual sense, by learning to draw closer to God and trusting Him more, the peace and assurance would overflow me. Though I admitted a lot of time I was still very impatient, God in His infinite mercies had slowly taught me in this area. There were times when faith was tested, I had to constantly remind myself:

2 Cor 5:7 For we walk by faith, not by sight......

So the Word come in handy in the struggle. It nourishes my soul and the spirit. I have to train myself to rely more on truth spoken rather than all the facts.....as truth supersedes whatever facts. John 8:32
"and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”


During this time, I have a chance to read the book by Kenneth Hagin below (The Basics of Faith)

As a teenager, Kenneth E. Hagin lay paralyzed for many months, seemingly destined to die. His heart cried out for someone to encourage him to believe that he could be healed. But the few people he asked for help only told him to prepare for death.

By the grace of God and young Kenneth's determined study of God's Word, faith finally was quickened in his heart for him to believe for his healing. On August 8, 1934, he was raised off the bed of sickness by the power of God, completely healed and made whole. He lived a long and fruitful life as a preacher.(1917-2003)


He mentioned in his book the step of faith:

1. Have God's Word for what you desire to receive from God. 
2. Believe God's Word. 
3. Consider not the contradictory circumstances. 
4. Give praise to God for the answer. 

Medical facts denied him of a cure, but Kenneth Hagin chose to believe in God's Word. His faith allowed God's power to be manifested in him. He received divine healing. "My faith tapped into the power of God and I was made whole! My paralysis disappeared and my heart condition was healed. Since then I've been going at a hop, skip, and a jump, and I have been preaching the truth of the gospel, including healing, ever since. " Truth superseded facts. Truth set him free!

(A copy of the book in English, pdf file is available at: 

http://www.livingfaithchurch.org.uk/pdf/Faith%20Bible%20Study%20Guide-Hagin.pdf) 

Thankful for the lessons learnt.
Thankful for those who continue to pray and support.
Thankful for those who encourage me.
Thankful to Mum and siblings who always help me to look at the brighter sides, for their love and cares.
Thankful to families who help me in my struggle, your comfort is immeasurable.
Thankful to God who initiates love, forgiveness, and healing.

因信而活，（罗一17）；凭信而立，（林后一24）；因信而行。（林后五7）
Live by Faith (Rom1:17) ; Stand firm by Faith (2Cor1:24) ; walk by Faith (2 Cor5:7)

Wonderful are His Deeds

After resting for a week, proceeded with 2nd cycle of chemotherapy yesterday. Monday was a busy day for the doctor. There was a long queue, I waited for more than 1&1/2 hours before the scheduled time before seeing him.

The blood test report showed that the tumor marker CEA continued to remain low, at a reading of 1.2 (safe level <5). So, instead of the 3 cycles of chemo to do another scan, the doctor said I could do it after completing the 2nd cycle. He believed that "the cancerous cells have been whacked blue and black." What an amazing news! Our hearts were filled with thanksgiving to our God, truly He has done far more, beyond what we asked for.

Ephesians 3:20-21

²⁰ God is able to do much more than we ask or think through His power working in us. ²¹ May we see His shining-greatness in the church. May all people in all time honor Christ Jesus. Let it be so.New Life Version (NLV)   神能照著运行在我们心里的大力充充足足的成就一切，超过我们所求所想的。 
Eph 3:21  但愿他在教会中，并在基督耶稣里，得著荣耀，直到世世代代，永永远远。阿们！ 

Lately I have been meditating on the book of John, particularly on what Jesus proclaim Himself to be:

John 14:6
Jesus said, “I am the Way and the Truth and the Life. No one can go to the Father except by Me.  耶稣说: "我就是道路、真理、生命；若不藉著我，没有人能到父那里去。" 

John 6:63
It is the Spirit who gives life; the flesh is no help at all. The words that I have spoken to you are spirit and life.  叫人活著的乃是灵，肉体是无益的。我对你们所说的话就是灵，就是生命。 

The more I meditated on these verses, the more I was inviting the spirit to give me Life. Life brings wholeness, health, abundance etc. - all part and parcel of God's wonderful salvation. I believe all these contribute to my speedy recovery. And now I am praying that the same Spirit and Life would enable me to be free of all the side effects from the treatment. And of course, all the prayers that arises from different corner of the world, ascending to the throne of the Most High.

After the 1st cycle of chemo, my hair started to part from my scalp. I found hair on my pillow, room, each time I combed my hair, more hair dropped. I was neat a table one day and picked up something from the floor. Accidentally my head touched the table lightly when I stood up. Next moment, a chunk of hair was on the floor. There and then, I decided to visit a barber and shaved my head. Now, I can compete with my colleague to see who has a shinier bald head.

Psa 121:7  The LORD will protect you from all danger; he will keep you safe. 
Psa 121:8  He will protect you as you come and go now and forever. 
 耶和华要保护你，免受一切的灾害；他要保护你的性命。
 你出你入，耶和华要保护你，从今时直到永远。

Weather the Storm

Before the chemotherapy was started, the doctor had advised to load up protein by eating lot of meat and warned about the possible side effects. From my previous experience, I was coping quite well with side effects. But how wrong I was!

What I went through was just unimaginable. The diarrhea was so bad.. I was rushing to the washroom 24-hr non-stop. My stomach was churning, vomit came and went. Fortunately it was just liquid and nothing else, as I had not been consuming much at all Every 2 hourly I took Imodian, which was supposedly very effective to stop the diarrhea. It offered little help.

After few days,  I felt too weak and exhausted, we went to see the doctor. Hydration was done for 3 times over the 5 days, along with the nutrition, protein and other stuff.  When the blood test report came out, the doctor said the salt (Na, Cl) level was so low that it was like someone in coma..

The battle did not stopped there, this waged on for 10 days, The Imodian supply at the pharmacy near our place was cleared out by my dear wife. She had to travel to another pharmacy to purchase more. Poor her, who woke up every couple of days to help me record the time medicine was taken. I was totally grateful that she ｗａｓnot stressed out.

Finally come to a much welcome stop on Sunday, what a huge relief. Towards the final 2 days, I was able to eat more too.

The 2^nd round of chemo was due to start yesterday. My stomach wall was still in pain. After the doctor examined me, he decided to postpone giving me the particular drug that caused diarrhea  by a week. It was a wise decision.

Throughout the ordeal, I thank my wife for standing by me. She was a pillar of strength, the kids have been very helpful. We prayed together daily for strength and divine protection. Thanks to friends, colleagues and relatives who prayed for us, supported us in various ways. Some rallied their churches to pray for us, this really touches my heart.

I am very happy to inform that the latest blood test results show that the tumor marker has become normal again, the CEA reading was 1.3 (safe level is <5). It was 10 when tested at the 1st hospital. Praise God for His special healing!

In the hospital there were many patients from overseas. Many travelled from Malaysia and Indonesia. We met a couples in the sixties from Kuching. They usually travelled a day ahead of chemo and flew back the same day. They have a son-in-law from my hometown. The couple seemed very serene, taking things in their strides. When I was undergoing my 1^st chemo, I was pleasantly surprised he walked over to me and offered a prayer. May the Lord bless them. They spent 30-40k RM each month to seek treatment here. It was not easy. And there are some many like them. I sympathized with them, especially those more elderly ones. They have suffered much, and traveling to-and-fro no doubt adds to their burden. So overall, still feel very blessed just to be here.....

106 

Psalm 106:1-2 Praise the Lord! Oh give thanks to the Lord, for he is good,

     for his steadfast love endures forever!
² Who can utter the mighty deeds of the Lord, or declare all his praise?

詩 篇 106 ¹ 你 们 要 赞 美 耶 和 华 ！ 要 称 谢 耶 和 华 ， 因 他 本 为 善 ； 他 的 慈 爱 永 远 长 存 ！ ² 谁 能 传 说 耶 和 华 的 大 能 ？ 谁 能 表 明 他 一 切 的 美 德 ？

Win another battle

Went for review with the colorectal surgeon on Apr 4. He checked the blood test results and found tumor marker to be high. He recommended a CT scan to be performed. The queue at the hospital was long, though I managed to brought the scan forward, I could only see the surgeon again early May.

It was somewhat disturbing. The way home from hospital was bright and sunny. I admired the scenery along the road and tried t make light of the situation.

At the nudging of my sis-in-law, we decided to see another oncologist at a private hospital. He quickly arranged to a consultation on the eve of Good Friday. His immediately arranged for PET scan, a more accurate form of scan on Monday Apr 9.

I have been praying hard and earnestly these few days. There was anxiety in the beginning, through the pray sessions, the peace came into my heart. I was given word from the Lord:

On Good Friday - Psa 107:20  He sent out his word and healed them, and delivered them from their destruction. 20  他发命医治他们，救他们脱离死亡 (Most amazingly the same verse were sent by a dear sis and colleagues to me 2 days later)


Sat - Ps 75:3Psa 75:3  The earth and all its people are melting away; I hold up its pillars 3  地和其上的居民都消化了；我曾立了地的柱子
Psa 75:7  But God is the judge.....7  惟有神断定.....(God has the final say....)


Easter Day Psa 71:3  Be a rock of refuge for me, to which I may always go; You have commanded to save me; for You are my Rock and my Fortress. 3  求你作我常住的磐石；你已经命定要救我，因为你是我的岩石，我的山寨。 


Also the Lord showed me Luke 7 - the centurion's servant was healed at His command, and how by compassion He  raised the dead son of the widow.

On Monday the PET scan was performed in the morning. By 5pm, we were back to see the oncologist. Somehow, there was this peace reigning in my heart, as I kept my mind on the verse from Psalm 23: Surely goodness and mercies shall follow me all the days my life......The pastor had taught a day earlier to steady our spirit in God's word.

The doctor located some anomalies at the colorectal area from the scan. Good news is no spread to other area. And the doctor has managed to see some symptom to which a particular drug has proven effective. We agreed to proceed with treatment course and started chemotherapy on the Tues, Apr 10. There would be 2 sessions per month over the next 3 months. Another scan would follow then.

I thank God so far I have been feeling perfectly well after the chemo session. Truly, there is power in the Living Word. And Blessed assurance that I am healed by His stripes (Isa 53:5)!! I am reciting Psa 91:16  With long life I will satisfy him, and show him My salvation.