Soldiering On

Reflecting on the day I first arrived in this new land to pursue higher study many years ago....... Little did I know I would stay here longer than I stayed in home country. It is here that I feel comfortable and at home. It is here that I made friends and set up family. It is here that God found me.....

It was during those undergrad days that a good friend and classmate who persistently encouraged me through Bible verses. He stood out as a helpful guy, compassionate and cheerful, very much exemplifying the characters of God. On quite a few occasions he invited me to church. After rejecting him a few times, I relented and followed him one Sunday. After attending couple of services, I felt my heart stirred quite a bit.  Later I stepped forwards to accept Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior.

There was a fellowship in the campus which we attended regularly. We learnt and grew together in the knowledge of God. We became good friends who remain faithful after so many years. So I was glad to met up one last week over a simple lunch, a special friend whom I clicked very well since those we first time we met in that fellowship. We had a good time and shared about family, travel, church, missions, health and so on.....Throughout so many years, we can see the hand of God over our lives. Despite many failings on my part, God remains faithful, His loving-kindness never ceases, His mercies never comes to an end.

Last week a team of colleagues also visited. Some sent books to nourish my soul. It was good to catch up. They are all blessings in my life. I thank God for all the colleagues, friends, relatives and families. Indeed they have given me much strength with their support.

As a routine after each chemo cycle of 3 weeks, we met with the doctor on Monday for a review. After usual examination, the doctor said according to the blood and urine test reports, the kidney and liver functions continue to be good, blood counts were alright, tumor marker CEA was good at <0.5. He also confirmed that I would need to go for 9 cycles of chemo.
" I know this is a tough program", he reiterated, "hopefully the reward is well worth it."
"Surely, have faith." I said. It was after I said this that I saw exactly the 2 words - Have Faith - printed on his cup.

Thereafter the 8th chemo cycles started. The past few weeks my appetite continued to improve, over latest 3 weeks, I found myself putting on 2.5kg. I am grateful that the side effects seem to be much reduced now. Praise God for his wonderful answers to our prayers. So soldiering on.......

Psa 37:3  Have faith in the Lord, and do good; be at rest in the land, and go after righteousness. 
Psa 37:4  So will your delight be in the Lord, and he will give you your heart's desires. 
Psa 37:5  Put your life in the hands of the Lord; have faith in him and he will do it. 


诗篇37:3-5  你当倚靠耶和华而行善，住在地上，以他的信实为粮； 
又要以耶和华为乐，他就将你心里所求的赐给你。 
当将你的事交托耶和华，并倚靠他，他就必成全。 

Walk by Faith

Went back to see the doctor on last Monday May 14. Reviewed the blood test results. Everything including kidney, liver functions were fine. These indicators showed how well the body system was taking the chemo, as they are the main organs to remove all the toxins.

After 2nd round of chemo, >95% of the side effects encountered during the first round were gone. Thank God indeed for His amazing grace.  Doctor said since the side effects were gone, he would recommend to go for full 3 cycles of chemo as originally planned. He explained that the side effects which was so severe after the 1st cycle, prompted him to request from scan after completing 2 cycles. This was not longer the case, so to be safe it was still better to go for 3 cycles.

What had changed along the way? I believe prayers played utmost important parts. I sensed somehow something had changed. In the spiritual sense, by learning to draw closer to God and trusting Him more, the peace and assurance would overflow me. Though I admitted a lot of time I was still very impatient, God in His infinite mercies had slowly taught me in this area. There were times when faith was tested, I had to constantly remind myself:

2 Cor 5:7 For we walk by faith, not by sight......

So the Word come in handy in the struggle. It nourishes my soul and the spirit. I have to train myself to rely more on truth spoken rather than all the facts.....as truth supersedes whatever facts. John 8:32
"and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”


During this time, I have a chance to read the book by Kenneth Hagin below (The Basics of Faith)

As a teenager, Kenneth E. Hagin lay paralyzed for many months, seemingly destined to die. His heart cried out for someone to encourage him to believe that he could be healed. But the few people he asked for help only told him to prepare for death.

By the grace of God and young Kenneth's determined study of God's Word, faith finally was quickened in his heart for him to believe for his healing. On August 8, 1934, he was raised off the bed of sickness by the power of God, completely healed and made whole. He lived a long and fruitful life as a preacher.(1917-2003)


He mentioned in his book the step of faith:

1. Have God's Word for what you desire to receive from God. 
2. Believe God's Word. 
3. Consider not the contradictory circumstances. 
4. Give praise to God for the answer. 

Medical facts denied him of a cure, but Kenneth Hagin chose to believe in God's Word. His faith allowed God's power to be manifested in him. He received divine healing. "My faith tapped into the power of God and I was made whole! My paralysis disappeared and my heart condition was healed. Since then I've been going at a hop, skip, and a jump, and I have been preaching the truth of the gospel, including healing, ever since. " Truth superseded facts. Truth set him free!

(A copy of the book in English, pdf file is available at: 

http://www.livingfaithchurch.org.uk/pdf/Faith%20Bible%20Study%20Guide-Hagin.pdf) 

Thankful for the lessons learnt.
Thankful for those who continue to pray and support.
Thankful for those who encourage me.
Thankful to Mum and siblings who always help me to look at the brighter sides, for their love and cares.
Thankful to families who help me in my struggle, your comfort is immeasurable.
Thankful to God who initiates love, forgiveness, and healing.

因信而活，（罗一17）；凭信而立，（林后一24）；因信而行。（林后五7）
Live by Faith (Rom1:17) ; Stand firm by Faith (2Cor1:24) ; walk by Faith (2 Cor5:7)

Faith, Hope, Love 信望爱

(1) Visit
The church sent another visitation team to my house. Bro E and 2 others visited. He encouraged us with his personal experience with the Lord. It was always good to be lifted in faith.
At the end of the visit, Bro W told us the Lord had impressed on him 2 passages to share with us, Psalm 103 and Psalm 23. What a pleasant surprise. These were the 2 psalms that the Lord had prompted me to read few days earlier. He read for us the 103th Psalm:


^1-2 O my soul, bless God. From head to toe, I'll bless his holy name!
   O my soul, bless God,
      don't forget a single blessing!

 ^3-5 He forgives your sins—every one.
      He heals your diseases—every one.
      He redeems you from hell—saves your life!
      He crowns you with love and mercy—a paradise crown.
      He wraps you in goodness—beauty eternal.
      He renews your youth—you're always young in his presence. 


Later my university roommate also send me Ps 23 as assurance - ⁴ Even though I walk 
   through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me;
your rod and your staff, ^{they comfort me.}

 How wonderful it was to see confirmation of His words. God is ever caring for us.

(2) Bonding
I have the opportunity to spend more time with my younger son, age 11, simply because he spends more time at home than his 2 siblings. They are busily engaged in school for studies and extra-curriculum activities.
Of late, he grows very protective of me. He would help me to carry stuff, serve me drink, and always challenge me like:
"Papa, are you sure you can drink/eat this?" (due to the fact that I am on food restriction)
While accompanying him to basket ball court, he would said: "You can only shoot the ball, not running allowed(due to my wounds)."


Last weekend, we went to buy something from the neighourhood shops. After that, he helped me to carry stuffs back. Alomng the way, he asked: " Papa, do you enjoy spending money? " Since shopping itself is a therapy, I gladly said, "Yes, I do."
He replied: "So do I, I also enjoy spending money." I did not ask him whether it is because he is spending my money.


(3) Chemotherapy Session # 8 (1 more to go!)
Yesterday, my wife and I made our way to the hospital. As usual, did the blood test. Then proceed to see the oncologist, Dr K. He examined me, and asked about the side-effect from previous rounds. My feet has been experiencing large scale peeling of skin. On looking at them, he asked: "Do you want to postpone the treatment for few days?" Since we were already there, I decided to proceed with it. Then he said: "Next round, we can postpone by 1 more week." So the next and the last chemo will be on May 18. 


After reviewing everything, Dr K said: "You are doing very well." I could proceed to fix appointment with the colorectal surgeon to finish off the last medical procedure. "My job is done!!", Dr K declared. We thanked him for all the cares he has rendered. He was all smiling. So when would be next appointment, we asked. Dr K said, "2 months from next chemo. If you really have nothing to do, drop by for a chat." Normally serious, he did have some humor.


The nurse at the chemo screening station mentioned that the skin peeling off is side effect from the oral prescription. She also said the blood test results were excellent. So I proceed to the chemo. The nurse attending to me was superb. She took care of the injection with such skill that  I hardly felt the pain. She arranged for the warm pad which helped easing the numbness and tingling effect, and re-heat it 2 more times to ensure that the pad remain warm and effective.


Truly, thank God for keeping to His promise on healing. It is great to come to this part of the journey. We are looking towards going back to our normal routine soon, as the kids have always pray.

2Cor 5:7
 For we live by faith, not by sight.
^{歌 林 多 後 書 5 
7} 因 我 们 行 事 为 人 是 凭 着 信 心 ， 不 是 凭 着 眼 见 。

信心的加添 Growth In Faith

以 賽 亞 書 54: ¹⁰ 大 山 可 以 挪 开 ， 小 山 可 以 迁 移 ； 但 我 的 慈 爱 必 不 离 开 你 ； 我 平 安 的 约 也 不 迁 移 。 这 是 怜 恤 你 的 耶 和 华 说 的 。

Few days before the chemotherapy was set to commence, I was praying over this treatment. There was some quite apprenhensions. During the eve of the session, Brother Ho sent me a sms/text. He told me that his brother has just completed the same treatment. He was recovering fast and had little side effect. Brother Ho sends me sms once or twice a week to encourage me. His writing is so amusing that I often burst into laughter, and this has helped to uplift my spirit. May God Bless his brother to speedy recovery and abundantly provides for Ho's family.

The same night I picked up a book next to the television. It was titled " Daring to Live on the Edge" by Loren Cunningham. Loren was called by Lord to set up "Youth With A Mission" (YWAM) at 18, to send out trained youths to various countries to spread the gospel. Each of them receives no pay, makes no appeal  for donation, but merely pray to God for daily needs. This includes the fares to the countries that each is led to evangelise and place where training is conducted. When the book was printed in 1995, there were few thousand youths, many times more volunteers over hundred countries. Each one had amazing testimonies to share how God  provided each of their needs, often in the nicks of time and in miraculous fashion. God moved people/strangers to give the exact amount they needed. This had been going on and on for years/decades across continents.

I was greatly touched and also shamed for the little faith I have after reading the account of how God took care of every details with YWAMers. He not only proved how true He Was/Is, He also built faith among the people. Faith is like muscles, it needs to be exercised to grow. God utilises various means to let us understand He is more interested in us, in building up our character and grow in faith, far more than merely supplying our needs.

God planned these 2 events in His perfect timing again. I was able to lay down all my worries before Him, and turning my full trust in our Living God!

Isaiah 54:    ¹⁰ Though the mountains be shaken
       and the hills be removed,
       yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken
       nor my covenant of peace be removed,"
       says the LORD, who has compassion on you.

Exercise 锻炼

I have been taking half-hour stroll everyday for couple of weeks now, in the park next to my apartment. My exercise regime has over the past few days progressed to using some exercise equipment installed in the park. These include some static cycling, arm movement equipments etc. to exercise various muscles.

Yesterday started brisk walk at another park slightly further away from home. It was good feeling to sweat again. Thanks God for His healing!!

两三周前开始在住家附近的公园每天散步约半小时。过去几天加了一些运动量，使用公园里一些健身的设备，包括身体各部位锻炼的器材。

昨天去了离家稍远的另一个公园。绕着公园快步走了一圈，稍稍出汗，感觉太好了！感谢神继续的医治！！

Some flora seen at the park 公园里的一些花卉

Mushroom by the roadside on our way back回家路上看到路旁的蘑菇

詩 篇 19

 ¹  诸 天 述 说 神 的 荣 耀 ； 穹 苍 传 扬 他 的 手 段 。

Psalm 19

   ^[a] 1 The heavens declare the glory of God; 

       the skies proclaim the work of his hands.

Divine Healing

Our church (Lighthouse Evangelism) organizes Miracle Service every Saturday. Pastor started this many years ago. He was healed by God in 1979 from a near-death experience himself.

Many has been touched and healed by God every week, believers and non-believers, young and old.  Medical doctors were baffled by medically unexplainable healing phenomena on some of their patients.  So some doctors and nurses recommend patients with medically challenging conditions to the church for prayer.  Some of those healed, when giving their testimonies, said they felt some heat, some felt tingling sensation, other just have no special feeling, yet they are healed.

My wife and I have attended the service many times. Last night, as I was praying, I felt the heat sensation on my upper abdomen. It lasted some 20 minutes. I knew the Lord has started His healing. It was amazing timing after a tough day yesterday. Thank God for His perfect timing!!

^{Acts 5：15}As a result, people brought the sick into the streets and laid them on beds and mats so that at least Peter's shadow might fall on some of them as he passed by. ¹⁶Crowds gathered also from the towns around Jerusalem, bringing their sick and those tormented by evil^[a] spirits, and all of them were healed.

使 徒 行 傳 5

¹⁵ 甚 至 有 人 將 病 人 抬 到 街 上 ， 放 在 床 上 或 褥 子 上 ， 指 望 彼 得 過 來 的 時 候 ， 或 者 得 他 的 影 兒 照 在 甚 麼 人 身 上 。

 ¹⁶ 還 有 許 多 人 帶 著 病 人 和 被 污 鬼 纏 磨 的 ， 從 耶 路 撒 冷 四 圍 的 城 邑 來 ， 全 都 得 了 醫 治 。

我们的教会每周末都举行神迹医治布道会。牧师好多年前就开始这么做，他本身在1975年一次频临死亡的疾病中蒙神的医治。

每周有许多人在会中蒙神的医治，有些是信徒，也有未信的，男女老小都有。一些医生在病患身上看到难以解释的医治奇迹。有些医生护士就会推荐棘手或束手无策的病例患者到会中来。各种各样受医治的人当中，有些做见证时说在患处会有炙热感，有些会有麻刺感，有些没有任何感觉，却也得到医治。


妻与我去了好几次的聚会。昨天夜里祷告时，我感觉上腹部一阵阵炙热，持续了约20 分钟。心里知道神在我身上开始施行了医治。感谢祂在这艰难的一天里行了祂奇妙的医治！！

The Wonderful PROMISE 奇妙的应许

I slept very well the night of Sep 16. The nurse came again and monitored my conditions. I slept soundly again thereafter. It was then I dreamed of a sentence "You've Received My Healing". This sentence persisted for very very long time. The word Received was particularly clear. 

I woke up and knew God had answered our prayers. Hallelujah!!! I wrote the following in my notebook:

I was elated the whole day. As with many promises/revelation from God, there are always confirmation. When someone "challenged" my conviction later, I waited for the confirmation. 



Mat 21:22  And all things, as many as you may ask in prayer, believing, you shall receive." 

Mat 21:22  你们祷告，无论求什麽，只要信，就必得著。 

God's Timely Help 上帝及时的帮助

The night before I could not sleep well. During that day, I heard something disturbing. My relatives were having some conversations and inadvertently they mentioned about my condition which I was not aware of. Though I tried to get rid of it from my mind, it came back later in the night. I woke up when the nurse took my blood pressure and temperature around 2am. My mind started to wander, it bothered my sleep. I tossed and turned (though the extent was limited due to the tubes attached to me), and it lasted through dawn.


I tried to read more on healing during the next day and kept on praying. My wife and I watched a VCD on divine healing received by a sister on colon cancer some 10 years back. A sister from the church had left it when they came and prayed for me. Many friends and colleagues has also came to give their morale support. My sister-in-law had brought many gifts, among them a desk-calendar type of daily prayer. This was what I read that evening when I turned to the page for Sep 16:

I decided there and then I should not let these thoughts bothered me. God's truth prevailed over whatever facts. I chose to believe in His absolute truth. Indeed the reading was timely help from God. Thank to Him, I managed to sleep well again that night.

John 14:6

 ⁶Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life..... "
John 8:32:

   ³²And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.

约翰福音：

14:6

耶 稣 说 ， 我 就 是 道 路 ， 真 理 ， 生 命 。。。。 8:32    你 们 必 晓 得 真 理 ， 真 理 必 叫 你 们 得 以 自 由 。

转变 Transformation

Joh 14:27  我留下平安给你们；我将我的平安赐给你们。我所赐的，不像世人所赐的。你们心里不要忧愁，也不要胆怯。 
Joh 14:27  I am leaving peace with you. I am giving you my own peace. I am not giving it to you as the world gives. So do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not let them be afraid. 

When my wife visited me again in the hospital, she excitedly related her experience the night before. After returning home, she and the children prayed together. As she prayed, she felt the warmth flowing through her, her heart was filled with peace. The night and after, she was able to sleep well again.


During this period of time, she had been suffered much; having to worry about my sickness, plying to and fro home/hospital, rushing many departments in the hospital to ensure all things are taken care of, handling her work(thanks to her boss who had helped much), doing household chores and taking good care of the 3 kids. During my hospitalisation, she tried her best to accompany and attend to me. The Lord took care of her most pressing need, i.e. granting her much needed sleep. Truly, as the psalmist said in Ps 127:2..............for so He giveth His beloved sleep. 


This particular blessing has lifted her faith, and solidified her belief in power of prayers. I was further convinced that the Lord has allowed this episode for a better purpose, for His love fails not. We thank Him for the peace I have enjoyed throughout, and now the same peace He has granted to my wife. 

News 消息

The good doctor called my home on Wed night, Sep 9. I had earlier done the annual body check-up at his clinic. He went through and report with me earlier and advised me to go a x-ray check. I did not thought much about the whole issue. After finishing the x-ray, I proceed with original schedule of visiting China the second day.

My wife was anxious after receiving the call from the doctor. When I returned call around 9.15pm, the doctor urged me to get back immediately for an urgent operation. “Confirmed case”, he said. When I received the news, I was calm. I called home, my wife asked, “Why must it be you?” To which I reply, “Don’t ask why, just pray and believe everything will be fine”. I asked my wife to make arrangement for the flight back on next day, just to keep her mind occupied. I called my colleagues to tell them I needed to rush back.


After the calls, I went to the bathroom. Reality started to strike me. I trembled for over 10 seconds, was it fear, I was not sure. I knelt down and prayed. Immediately there was a great sense of peace over me. I was thankful that God that at instant had granted me that unspeakable peace. The night was challenging- in between short sleeps, I woke up. I started to pray, and pray on. The night went on between waking praying hours and some sleeping hours.


My wife and her brother was at the airport to fetch me directly to the hospital. Along the way, I told my teary wife to stay strong, and set example for the kids. Prior to that, her sister had helped to make appointment with Dr E, colon-rectal head of department at the hospital. He was kind enough to see me, despite not attending his clinic on that day. He explained all the x-ray photos, and made some preliminary examination. Immediately he arranged for colonoscopy to be performed. An operation was schedule on the following Monday, Sep 13.

From the beginning, I decided to overcome this crisis with the following rules( May God help me):

1. Do not allow self-pity; do not blame God or others
2. Adopt positive attitude
3. Whenever possible, do things that I could and live normally
4. Cherish family, friends, colleagues
5. Pray, cast my worries to the Lord
6. Above all,  Trust in God for everything and His everlasting lovingkindness  

Philippians 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything. Instead, in every situation, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, tell your requests to God. 


4:7 And the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds  in Christ Jesus. 


4:8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is worthy of respect, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if something is excellent or praiseworthy, think about these things. 


This was reinforced later by Pastor during his Saturday sermon. "Let your mind filtered off things undesirable," he said.
whatever is true (reject lies, half truth, whatever facts that may be presented to you; believe God’s truth overrule all these and He has the ultimate say)
whatever is worthy of respect, 
whatever is just,  (do not be tempted to think of worldly ways which people get away with)
whatever is pure, 
whatever is lovely, (think of positive stuffs)
whatever is commendable,
if something is excellent or praiseworthy, (think of excellence and things worthy to be praised, good deeds, kindness, love ),think about these things.


I need to train my mind, exercise it, direct it to think positively according to the living words of God.


On hindsight, there were many things I could be thankful for:
I decided to perform annual check earlier this year instead of leaving it to Oct;
The tremendous peace that I received from the Lord;
Supportive family and extended families， friends and colleagues
Many kind souls who helped a way of another etc....


Indeed thanks God for his grace!!


(中文打得太慢了，手写对我快捷许多了）

《圣经腓立比书》

4:6		应 当 一 无 挂 虑 ， 只 要 凡 事 借 着 祷 告 ， 祈 求 ， 和 感 谢 ， 将 你 们 所 要 的 告 诉 神 。
4:7		神 所 赐 出 人 意 外 的 平 安 ， 必 在 基 督 耶 稣 里 ， 保 守 你 们 的 心 怀 意 念 。
4:8		弟 兄 们 ， 我 还 有 未 尽 的 话 。 凡 是 真 实 的 ， 可 敬 的 ， 公 义 的 ， 清 洁 的 ， 可 爱 的 ， 有 美 名 的 。 若 有 什 么 德 行 ， 若 有 什 么 称 赞 ， 这 些 事 你 们 都 要 思 念 。